I grew up in a home where we weren't praised for anything. I don't remember anyone saying "Well done" when I passed the eleven -plus and O levels and found myself a job in a library and Mum often moaned about her sister and brother who liked to tell her how well their children were doing. "Always boasting" she would say. 'Showing off' in any way was also discouraged.
The problem with that upbringing is it then becomes hard to praise your own children.
So sorry about this showing off and boasting! but I'm putting that right..................
I'm so proud of my eldest daughter. After working as a Textile Print designer for Monsoon, Phase Eight and other fashion designers she had just become a freelance textile print designer so as to be at home with her small son when covid struck and that put an end to that but she decided to start her own business and it's doing rather well. Artful Kids UK is her children's party and workshop business based in Surrey and roundabout encouraging children to create and enjoy making and doing. And as well as doing that she's also working lots of hours a week for a friends garden and landscaping business, doing their publicity and organising all sorts of admin. A wonderful Mum to my eldest and youngest grandsons too.
I'm so proud of my Son. Lots of people do an Archaeology degree but not so many end up with a full time and permanent job in the sector. At one time every County had it's own Archaeology department but now almost all work is contracted out and son worked for a couple of companies, including moving round the country, before getting his job, based in Suffolk, at Oxford Cotswold Archaeology He doesn't dig anymore now he's in management. Such a good Dad to middle grandson and youngest granddaughter.
I'm so proud of my youngest daughter who decided not to follow her siblings to university and went out and got herself a job at age 17. Working at an Opticians as a receptionist and then optical assistant for many years until covid and a new owner downsized his staff and she found herself out of a permanent job with a 5 year old. She'd also fought through cancer before EGD was born and wasn't sure if she would be able to have children. She did several part time jobs before getting a job on short term contracts also working for Oxford Cotswold Archaeology in the site offices organising all the accommodation and logistics for the people working on the digs at Sizewell C power station sites. The end is in sight for those contracts but now she has a permanent admin job with them which is really good news. Coping so well and being the Best Mum on her own now to my eldest Granddaughter.
Three wonderful children - their Dad was and would have been proud too!
[This post came about because Aril at Eccentric Amblings and Ramblings blog mentioned the Tunsgate Centre in Guildford. ED had been running workshops there regularly but the new centre manager hadn't booked her for a while. ED thought they'd had a change of plan for family events there. I looked on her website to see if she'd been booked there for the summer hols, they hadn't but she is busy, busy elsewhere and that made me very proud!]
You are justly proud of your children. They have clearly grown up into good hardworking people, using their gifts and talents in positive and creative ways. And, more importantly they clearly have a strong commitment to family life, supporting one another,tbeir children, and you. And passing on these values to the next generation. Yes,Colin would be proud of them - the family is part of his legacy. Maybe when you were growing up, you missed out of praise and affirmation, that's sad. But now, these children and grandchildren are a living affirmation of what a great woman you are, Sue. Well done, their achievements are a reflection of your character. We applaud you as we admire them 👏 👏 👏 ❤️🙂
ReplyDeleteMy mum was the same, no need to shout it out, just keep going, neither was she a cuddly mum, I along with my siblings felt her love. So I went the other way loads of cuddles and praise for both my daughters and again with my grandchildren. I do often hear my mums voice in my head still, keeping me quiet and still, and watching all the time. Watching our successful children as adults is always a proud moment, watching them as parents is rewarding as it shows we did a great job in raising them.
ReplyDeleteMy mother was the same,"stop showing off, Carole" was her usual response. We were all criticised constantly about not being "up to scratch" though. My grandmother, her mother was the opposite, anything we did was applauded and she showed such unconditional love. That got me through, and I hope I am nothing like my mother. Well done for praising your lovely children and their accomplishments
ReplyDeleteLooks like it was fairly typical of our generation to be told no showing off, certainly was in our family. I loved reading this post, you are justifiably proud of your family. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteAlison in Devon x
You have every right to be proud of your children, it sounds as though they have all made really good lives for themselves and their families.
ReplyDeleteI make an extra effort to tell my sons regularly how proud I am of them, my eldest son always wells up if we are together and it's face to face. My Mum never said this to me until I was an adult, and she heard other people telling me what she had never said. My Nana on the other hand, who lived upstairs in our family home, told me on a regular basis, and I loved her for it.
Yes, we too were brought up to take exam and competition results in our stride. I sometimes wonder if I could have made more of our children's successes... at least I can make up for it now.
ReplyDeleteYour children are a family to be justly proud off!
I enjoyed reading more about your children. They certainly are using their gifts & talents in their communities. They seem to take after you & Colin and the examples you set. DL
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to all your children, and to you for enabling them and allowing them to follow their own pursuits. What wonderful examples they have followed and are setting their own children.
ReplyDeleteInteresting to read about your three children and you should be proud of all their achievements. I am sure Colin would have been a proud Dad too.
ReplyDeleteAs DL said, I'm sure they followed your hard working example.
Hey, if we don't blow our own trumpets, who'll blow them for us! Toot away, they deserve it from their proud mum! They've worked hard and earned it.
ReplyDeleteYou are fortunate to have such dedicated and resourceful kids!
ReplyDeleteGlad your children and grandchildren are doing well. I'm proud of all of my children, too. Some live farther away and I wish I could see them more. Computers have helped with texting as an easy way to keep in touch.
ReplyDeleteAren't families complicated, and don't the effects have such a generational trickledown! Mine was complicated and largely horrible, with the Stirling exception of a wonderful aunt who I lived with between 3 and 8. Then it was cold, sterile boarding school. Fortunately I married a wonderful man and we must've other something right. Our son is now mid40s and a warm, loving, expressive and positive father to our two gorgeous grandchildren.
ReplyDeleteYou have a right to boast. You've done well in raising your children to be responsible adults. Kudos to you and to them.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing better in life than to see our now adult children succeed.
ReplyDeleteWorking and simultaneously raising children in today's world is not easy.
You can be very proud.
Clearly, all your praise is given with great love and affection...and be assured, there is nothing wrong with that.
I call that praise and even our adult children could use that maternal praise. You have good reason to be proud of them.
ReplyDeletePraise to you for a job well done in raising them. And praise to them for doing so well.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
They sound like lovely children - well done to you and Col and them!
ReplyDeleteI think not praising children was just a thing not done years ago. It has knocked my confidence a bit, I must admit! I tried to make it a point to tell my children as they were growing up how proud I was of them
Well done to your children. They have worked hard and achieved much.
ReplyDeleteWe have always praised and encouraged our children, and I literally put my life on hold when they were growing up, to support and encourage them. Keith and I didn't have an evening out (e.g. a drink at a local pub) until they were 12, 14 and 16 and Tam was put in charge. We only did it the once as hormonal Gabby had a melt down!!!
I fear I was a sad disappointment to my dad, especially when I made the mistake of marrying a waste of rations first time round. If only he had lived long enough to meet Keith, who I know he would greatly approved of. A shame I never got a chance to do a degree until the mid-90s - he died in 1980. He would have been so proud of me.
Thank you for sharing your pride in your children. They have done so well, you are rightly proud. There doesn't seem to be any such thing as a job for life these days and being able to pivot and find something worthwhile in another direction is a great asset.
ReplyDeleteMy husband's family were terrified that anyone would 'show off' and he was brought up in that mould. My parents couldn't have been more different, I knew how proud they were of me and they were openly affectionate. I think this has quite a bearing on children's confidence and we have made sure we praised our children and told them how loved they are. We've probably made other parenting mistakes instead!
Penny
My childhood home was similar, I always felt I wasn't good enough. Fortunately I was able to not be like that with my own children, they are all wonderful, as are yours. xx
ReplyDeleteIt isn't boasting or showing off really, it is appreciating and respecting achievement. And when genuine, why not. It's not just the thing itself, it is all the hard work, commitment and dedication that makes it happen. Well worth spotlighting. xx
ReplyDeleteA lovely tribute to your family and well deserved of course. Two good parents are behind them of course.
ReplyDeleteLovely post.
ReplyDeleteAnd they all have a mom and grandma they can be proud of. Being left behind by our spouses, even when our kids are adults, is very hard. My youngest was in her last year of university as you say, when her dad died but got through with top honors. My son started over relocating back to his home state, and middle child, who thought she'd have her dad to help as a single woman homeowner, has created a beautiful cozy home. My parents were sparse with verbal compliments too, but loved us all (10!) And even more so their grandchildren.
ReplyDeleteI love that you share your pride in your children, esp. the one who went a different route.
ReplyDelete