Then going into October, I was a bit poorly and got worried about the winter coming and wondered what I could do to prepare - not with things like buying food or filling the heating oil tank, but mentally - how on earth would I get through my 8th winter alone?
Deciding that the only way was to get organised so I planned things to do and wrote a list - always a list...........
- Make sure to get outside for a while on sunny days
- Jigsaw puzzles - one each month except December when I need the table for Christmassy things
- Fill in my new diary
- Link all the church visit posts to the big church list
- Find things to write about for the blog
- Get out and about to visit Christmas Fairs etc in November and December
- Stay warm and cosy during Just -stay-in-January
- Make sure to have plenty to read all through winter
I'm not a person who treats myself to handbags, clothes or fancy stuff but I decided on a treat of a coffee advent calendar for December and a box of hot chocolate sachets and the chocolate liqueurs for after Christmas. Then up popped a message offering 10 weeks of Radio Times Magazine for £10 and as I'd be buying the Christmas/New Year edition anyway, to see what's on TV and that will probably be nearly £10 this year it seemed like a good idea for added interest to the second half of November, all of December and January. I just have to remember to cancel the subscription later.
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There were Christmas wreath making workshop events in lots of places around about ranging in price from not too much up to £75!! (I would want Gold Plated for that price!!). I'm afraid I cheated again and bought an everlasting (that means mainly plastic!) wreath for the front door for £7 from one of the Christmas Fayres, hand made by the person selling them who was doing a roaring trade. My front door has a porch roof over so the wreath should last for a few years .
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I'm not a widow but I do spend most of my time alone in the house so I'll take some of your ideas and add some of mine to make a list that will get me through until next Spring.
ReplyDeleteI like your pretty wreath.
The wreath is really pretty with its frosted leaves and white flowers. I believe that little things do matter to keep our spirits up. It worked for me in the past though it felt incredibly hard to put them in place at first. Your blog is very appreciated !
ReplyDeleteMaguy
I'm a widow of 14 years, I lost my husband when I was in my 50's. There are lows - and highs - but taking positive action as you have done Sue is the way forward. And good for you not relying on endless shopping trips to cheer yourself up. How much stuff do we all really need? Getting outside and looking at nature is one of the best things I've found to cure a down day. Thank you for your interesting blog posts.
ReplyDeleteYes, being a widow is hard and being alone as you get older so difficult with technology and lack of motivation. Your ideas are good ones, especially getting outside each day, but the evenings go on for ever and not being a telly addict I struggle to stay motivated to do something so thank heavens for books, my not guilty pleasure. Sandra.
ReplyDeleteIt's my husband I need to get motivated to do things during the winter, otherwise he just sits dozing in front of the TV all day. Very hard when he's got no hobbies, despite my efforts to get him interested in different things. That wreath looks lovely, a good buy.
ReplyDeleteThat's a pretty wreath. I decided not to go to the workshop this year and have a fake one too. It should do me year after year.
ReplyDeleteI think getting outdoors is essential as the days get colder and shorter and the sun (when we get it) is more diffused. Your list looks really good and has inspired me to make one too - I know it isn't in any way the same as your grieving but I do miss my mum and dad so much, especially at this time of year and a plan might help. Thank you. xx
Thank you for sharing such helpful ideas and for being so honest about the pain of loss. 🩵
ReplyDeleteI'm a widow of 8 years. I have a grown up son and a daughter who live nearby and we phone, text and What'sApp often, but the one 'person' who has kept me company all this time is my little dog. I'd be very lonely and alone without her. I can't imagine living in a house with no other heartbeat or breathing than my own. If you were to offer a home to an older small dog I think you'd both benefit.
ReplyDeleteAn excellent post.
ReplyDeleteA friend was widowed several years ago. She says her grief comes in waves, gradually getting better but then suddenly coming back with a vengeance.
I have been making wreaths to fund raise for my village church. We forage all the foliage from hedgerows. We use yew, ivy with the berries on and leylandii and then decorate with forage pine cones and other bits and pieces. I quite enjoy making them.
Enjoying this A-Z, readin every day but not commenting often. I was taken back by now negative U words seemed to be.
It's a good idea to be proactive and make a list to help through the winter. Last winter I had a nasty and prolonged bout of anxiety, the first ever in my 65 years. This year I've made a list and made some of it quite specific, particular walks I want to go on, free museums to visit with car picnic and thermos flask too, bought a charity shop jigsaw etc. There is a fuel cost to some of this but it's minor compared to the cost to my health last year.
ReplyDeleteEven something like a deal on the Radio Times is helpful.
Good luck!
Penny
I've been a widower of eleven weeks. It's a weary road to travel. I feel sad when people avoid me and angry that I have lost the love of my life. I will miss knitting season. I know what you are going through Sue.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sue, for sharing the reality of being parted from your life’s beloved partner. I think your list will help lots of people to improve their mental health this winter. Catriona
ReplyDeleteI lost my partner back in 2013 and I understand exactly how you are feeling. I've always done the same as you, not just at Christmas but throughout the year, which is to keeping a rolling list of things I can do that I'll enjoy and that help to keep the loneliness at bay. xx
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