First of all thank you for comments during the week and apologies for not always replying. Seems like several people have given away vases and regretted it. Perhaps I'll have daffodils next, still no sign of flowers here. I plant things and they shrink rather than spread.
Thank you to a lady who has found my blog again, her husband died very recently after many years together. I'm so sorry for your loss, it's the hardest thing to cope with and grief is the strangest thing. Even after almost six years I still get angry, sad and unsettled - waiting for something that doesn't happen and have to resign myself for what is here and now.
Two of the people from Spot Wellbeing CIC who started our Keep Moving Group 18 months ago came to visit us this week. They were both originally Physios with the NHS, both got disillusioned with the things they weren't allowed to do for people who had come out of hospital after falls or operations and left to start their own Community Interest Company working at starting exercise groups all around East and Mid Suffolk and doing one-to-one physio. Now, weirdly, they are part funded by the NHS to do the very things they weren't allowed to do before. They also get some funding from District and County Councils but work one year at a time, never knowing when funding will stop. They were pleased to see how well our small group was going and they've now got similar groups running in many towns and villages.
Does your heart sink when mechanical things go wrong?
What other things can I mention from my week?
- Common sense at last as the bills for water use and sewer, which we pay to two different companies are going to come as one bill twice a year -instead of separate bills.
- And more common sense as the planning application for some stables over the road has been turned down even after the appeal. They wanted the entrance driveway to be on a bad corner and to build a huge stable block beside the two new homes that are being built.
- I was excited to see three young deer running through the burial ground over the road - never seen 'proper' deer in the village before- only muntjacs. Muntjacs are small and much more often seen close to built up areas. I think what I saw were young Roe Deer - they all had white rumps. .
Intermittent faults are always worrying and fingers crossed your car is fine until it’s MOT. Raining here too but at least it’s a bit warmer. I’m going to try and finish a sleeveless oversize pullover this weekend and I have a feeling it’s going to be very oversized!! Catriona
ReplyDeleteCars are so technical so that only a 10% loss of pressure in a tyre and the warning light bleeps at me!
DeleteOh, my goodness, I know what you mean about things going wrong! Since my husband died 15 months ago my oven broke, my car battery went flat, my hoover broke, I got a puncture and the boiler broke. Then yesterday I receive a letter saying that the new boiler that I've had fitted has a manufacturer's fault and an engineer needs to come round to make some modifications! But in the meantime I should do this, that and the other to it. Errrr - NO! Not touching it as it's the w/e and I haven't a clue what I'm doing! Hopefully, I'll be contacted soon. Have a good w/e - widows' week-ends can be lonely affairs. We loved the rugby - I still do but watching on one's own isn't quite the same.
ReplyDeleteI never used to have to worry about things going wrong as Colin was usually able to sort things out - now I panic before getting on with the sorting out myself
DeleteSue and Julia - I feel the same - I appear to have problems with my drains and need a major repair . The poor drain guy didn’t know how to cope when I started weeping - I just miss Tony so much and hate having no one to mull things over with
DeleteSiobhan x
I hate it when things like that go wrong and I'm glad you were able to deal with the tyre pressure. And Catriona says, fingers crossed.
ReplyDeleteAnd ditto re the water/sewage bills. I never really understood why they had to be separate payments. I'm sure it will be an excuse to increase the amounts but that was going to happen anyway so I'm not stressing.
Have a lovely weekend. xx
I guess you are Essex and Suffolk + Anglian Water too. It makes sense for them to confer and join up the bills
DeleteHopefully, that's all your woes over and done in one and matters will now improve. Enjoy the rugby!
ReplyDeleteNext will be the washing machine as it's making a few strange noises on spin cycle!
DeleteI think the channels went off both Freesat and Freeview. All standard definition channels will shortly be removed as well although who still watches those, not sure, unless still using very old tv’s?
ReplyDeleteThe channels that have gone were mostly film channels - I suppose most people watch films on Netflix or Amazon Prime now.
DeleteGosh I HATE it when things go wrong, and they never go wrong one at a time do they, they always seem to take other things along with them. Car problems are the absolute worst and my heart sinks if a warning light comes on. Touch wood I haven't had one of those for a while and my car passed it's MOT this week ... phew!!
ReplyDeleteThe guttering came off the very top floor of Alan's house in all the gale force winds this week though, so that will be a costly repair. :-(
Enjoy the rugby. xx
Oh heck about the guttering - that will need scaffolding which is a lot of noisy fun! Scaffold blokes are usually very shouty.
DeleteI loved your opening paragraph Sue, I think the description of what it feels like........even a few years on........of what life is like after the death of a partner will resonate with a lot of people.
ReplyDeleteThe freesat issue, the very same thing happened to ours recently and we hadn't had that box long.......got a feeling the boxes will soon be a thing of the last, like satellite dishes.
Alison in Wales x
I've not got a separate box as Freesat is built into the TV which is only 5 years old so I didn't really want it to go wrong so soon. I wondered if the satellite had fallen out of the sky but decided we probably would have heard about that on the news!
DeleteSue, I appreciate this post. You're stating problems but said problems are not overwhelming you. You have a very positive outlook and I appreciate your honesty. I enjoy your blog and always read it first thing each day.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading my ramblings every day - I enjoy writing.
DeleteI do start with panicking when things go wrong but then realise there's only me to sort it out so I'd better get on with it!
You sound like a can-do person, Sue. You have a good way of figuring it out or knowing who to contact. I remember that my Mom was like that and she was the fixer in our family rather than my Dad. :)
ReplyDeleteHave to sort things out as I don't want to rely on the children yet - might need to as I get older!
DeleteThe national anthems have played, the first game is underway! The Princess Royal is in attendance at Murrayfield too! Perk of the job, lucky thing.
ReplyDeleteHate things going wrong, mainly because, besides the inconvenience and expense, I'm no longer able to fix things myself, or at least give it a go. Good handymen are so hard to find these days.
Enjoy your weekend.
Just watched two good games - one more tomorrow
DeleteI remember that sinking feeling so well!
ReplyDeleteOur television providers did the same thing, cutting channels out a handful at a time. We finally ended up with something like 9 channels, and two of them were home shopping channels. We gave them up. We stream exclusively. There are so many channels. To be honest, we are not at all sure of what we've got. We tend to stick to a few favorite shows. Maybe we'll explore around later.
I had to look up muntjacs. You've given me a new word. I never knew such an animal existed in the UK.
Very small deer, usually solitary and now seen almost anywhere, can be a nuisance as they eat all sorts.
DeleteEeee! So do deer. Especially fond of gardens!
DeleteI read your blog each morning with my coffee. I was really struck by your words talking to the lady whose husband had died recently. Your words, about being angry, sad and unsettled, and waiting for something that doesn’t happen, and resigning to the here and now. I think you have written what many of us feel as we grieve over a loss. We may move through life, interacting, socializing, but inside the struggle and pain catches one sometimes.
ReplyDeleteKnowing that things that were good have all gone is the hardest part
DeleteYour exercise group is doing remarkably well and is beneficial for all your members. Is it continuing to grow? Tire pressure is a bothersome issue. I'm glad the new valves solved the problem. Streaming on the TV is my first choice. I added a indoor antenna (Amazon purchase) that plugs directly in to a port on the TV. It helps bring in more channels. I subscribe to Comcast as well.
ReplyDeleteThe exercise group is certainly beneficial for us all.
DeleteI prefer scheduled TV, as then I know what's on and when as it's not always easy to find things on streaming
Thank you for acknowledging my recent comment in today's blog re my beloved husband Sue. Cars! On top of everything else, I've had to replace our 'too big for just me' car to a small run about. All so stressful, but I know Terry would have been proud of me. With kindest regards 😊 xx
ReplyDeleteLuckily(?) because we knew we were going to be back and forwards to Addenbrookes' hospital we bought an almost new car in 2017 - and I'm hoping it will last me a while longer.
DeleteAnd you are right, we should feel proud of how we cope. And our husbands would have been proud too.
Like you, I’m a widow, coming up to 19 years but unlike you I get totally overwhelmed by house and car maintenance. Being old and single in the UK is the absolute pits, no support, no one to speak to, just chores and loneliness, the future is bleak. I don’t know how you stay so positive. Sarah Browne.
ReplyDeleteIt's sometimes hard to sort stuff out, things that Colin would have found simple to solve often worry me . Actually writing the blog helps keep me upbeat - finding things to write about is interesting and enjoyable.
DeleteI try not to look too far ahead - as it frightens me
Thank you for describing how you sometimes feel even after nearly 6 years of being widowed. My husband died about 6 months before yours, and although I am getting on with life, there is often that sort of unsettled, sad feeling around. I often wondered if others at this stage had those feelings or not.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I am able to deal with repairs etc, but still get that initial panic feeling! I wonder if that will ever go?!
Hope the car is ok till the MOT! You're doing a really good job here of describing your daily life honestly! It's very encouraging to read. X
Thank you for reading and your kind words. I'm gradually getting better with dealing with problems and very lucky to have the guys at the car repair place to sort out the car for me and BiL for the small things.
DeleteThe sadness and empty-ness pop up now and again and I have to stamp on them hard
How lovely that you got to see some full grown deer. We have a small herd that comes up from the valley into the city proper every so often.
ReplyDeleteI do hope your car is easily repaired.
God bless.
Yes I don't call the small muntjacs 'proper' deer!
DeleteAs my dear husband was dying, my car was too. He was Mr. could fix anything, but after he died and things went wrong I realized that he had been getting me ready by explaining how to do things, like how and when to change the furnace filter etc. The first thing I had to do after his death was to buy a new car when mine needed repairs that were just not worth the cost for an older car. He always said that I should have a reliable car. I have been able to sort through everything over the last four years and tomorrow will have to call a plumber to fix a leaky pipe under my laundry tub.
ReplyDeleteI think the belt is slipping on my washing machine as it's squeaking a lot on the spin. Colin would have got a new belt and fixed it - I will have to find a repair-man!
DeleteForget passing the MOT, you can't be driving with leaky tire valves? Why would valves leak even?
ReplyDeleteHeater repair--I'd be afraid the gorilla glue would be flammable on heater, another hazard!
Ive been single and alob=ne many years and my heart just stops, panic ensues, when things break down or leak.I guess it is a commo reaction, maybe the husbands and sons just hide it
They didn't replace the valves when I had new tyres because the valves have sensors in and they are pricey. I think they were trying to save me money - but it just made an extra hassle.
DeleteThe glue was on the foot so no heat anywhere near.
So glad you are coping as I feel all of your grief as a one year widow. He was and is my always and ever after 45 years. And, yes, I’ve been going through the very same tire struggles and got one of the handheld pumps at Christmas time. It’s saving me. Hope spring pops through for you very soon. I have daffies springing up and a few sheltered snapdragons have never stopped blooming which always make me smile.
ReplyDeleteSue, I first found your blog the week Colin died. I had followed another post about your war years book collection to your blog, and saw Colin was ill. He died before I could even introduce myself (so as not to be a lurker). I felt so useless in the face of your pain that I just shut up and read for those years since. Thank you for sharing your true feelings, while being brave at the same time. I am sorry for all who have lost their partners.
ReplyDelete