I've not been out much this week as, like so many other people, I had a return of the lurgy that struck before Christmas. Just hope I haven't passed it back to the two nearest Grandchildren when I went to look after them for a couple of hours. It's just sore throat and cough and I don't feel too bad and have been sleeping OK, so haven't been moaning out loud!
My second trip was out for shopping and I took 2 big bags of bits to the charity shop, mainly towels, books and 4 cups and saucers that haven't been used for years. The RSPCA charity shop were pleased with my old towels - she said they sell out so quickly for dog towels, especially at this time of the year. My first random purchase of the year was from Aldi's middle aisle - it's their fitness week and they had a pack of two 1kg dumb bell weights for under a fiver. The first people who ran the exercise group brought weights with them but the people running it now don't. I tried a bottle of water but it's not really heavy enough or the right shape.
There was yet another funeral over the road in the graveyard this week, that's the fourth since the Autumn. There was only one in the first year I was here and then I heard of another person with cancer in the close family (not my children and hopefully caught early enough)..... makes you think doesn't it. I find it so difficult to hear about people having cancer now - I feel selfish but part of me had enough of cancer and illness with Colin. That sounds terrible but it's hard to cope. I've said before that I feel I've put a hard shell around myself to stop me being hurt anymore.
I mentioned during the week that one bit of trellis came down when the post rotted - well, with one bit down the remaining two, (which were already propped up) standing at right angles to the first had nothing to hold them up and I had to pull them over and take their rotting posts out of the ground before they fell on the little Minarette Apple Trees. Sadly this meant cutting down lots of Winter Jasmine. The garden looks a bit open and bare without the trellising, not sure what to do now as both the Fig and the 3 Minarettes were tied to the trellis.
Before rotting posts and collapsed trellising
After trellis collapse. My wire netting frames and a bit of the trellis are now covering my veg beds to put off next door neighbours cat. She's a lovely cat but cat poo in the garden is revolting.
This week I'm grateful for.......
- My new outside tap out the front of the house to use when finally getting around to washing the car - about time - it was filthy.
- Getting the 2022 paperwork sorted and either thrown out or filed away.
- Fast doctor and hospital response for a relative
The weather forecast for the weekend is horrible - wet and windy but at least there's still no sign of snow- thank goodness.
Back Monday
Sue
Grief takes people in different ways and we all cope in whatever way works for us, I think. It's not selfish in the slightest.
ReplyDeleteWould it be fairly easy to replace the trellising, especially as it was used for support?
xx
Finding someone to do the work is always the problem with anything around here - everyone is always so busy
DeleteFor a few years I was aware of dog poo in the front garden. Once we moved in permanently I found out why. A elderly neighbour walked the dog round the block, and it always left a daily deposit on my lawn. The owner had both poor eyesight, and mobility issues... He genuinely was unaware of what was happening and I was not sure he could bend down to bag it. I decided to just clear it up myself.
ReplyDeleteSadly the neighbour died in the Autumn, and his widow cannot walk well either- and a professional dog walker takes the pooch out now. No more poo!
Wedo get a cat in the back garden occasionally, but as yet, I've not found any mess.
Keep well and warm Sue (very wet and windy in Norfolk right now)
Wet and windy in Suffolk too but very mild so not a lot of heating needed.
DeleteI was tempted to throw the cat poo over the fence into their garden - but of course I didn't!
It must be that time of the year for clearing the cupboards. I have three boxes waiting by the door for me to take tothe charity shop today.
ReplyDeleteClearing out is a regular thing here- any of my own books read and anything I discover I don't need gets put in a bag
DeleteDear Sue, I really understand about having a shell around one. J passed away with cancer in September and I have just struggled through a family break for someone's big birthday. It was so hard so keep smiling and cheerful so that I didn't spoil things for the others. Finally cracked at the last hurdle - a final coffee together in the hotel. But for some inexplicable reason the talk turned to funerals and that was me finished. I had to leave the room in tears. My sister told me that because I appeared to be doing so well people just forget. I will never pretend anymore even if it offends. Happy New Year - it really helps me to read your fabulous blog - it reminds me that there is a light somewhere at the end of the tunnel and many are grieving. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for your kind words.
DeleteIt's nearly 5 years for me now yet I still struggle to hear about people with cancer
Hope you're feeling better soon. Take care, Mxx
ReplyDeleteAn annoying sore throat hanging on - about time it went but I feel OK
DeleteI can understand how you feel about putting a thick shell around yourself. To me it's people complaining about some minor illness they have, a cold, backache etc. I'm afraid they don't get any sympathy from me.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever been planting bulbs in the garden and found you've put your bare hands in cat poo that was buried? YUK! YUK! YUK!
Is your trellis falling down the start of the next three? Hope not.
My Dad used to talk about finding cat poo in sand when they were bricklaying or plastering - that was when sand came on a lorry and was tipped up in the yard like a giant cat litter tray! Yuck
DeleteOn the exterior we put a shell around ourselves, makes it easier than trying to explain things to people. I tire of the puzzled looks and wrong responses so find it best to say nothing. I agree with Joan, minor illnesses, day to day colds get little sympathy from me either. Beautiful drying day in South Norfolk. My washing is out on the line drying in the wind.
ReplyDeleteNo drying weather here - drizzly all day - horrible
DeleteFinding cat poo in the garden is horrible. I have tried all sorts to deter them, but some of them must do 'Mission Impossible' style contortions to manage to do their business while avoiding mesh, sticks stuck in the ground, pepper etc!
ReplyDeleteI wasn't excited when next door said they had got a cat - knew what would happen _ ugh
DeleteI so agree with the the other comments. Grief is very individual and since my mum died I'm finding myself avoiding folk that I know expect me to be 'over it by now'.
ReplyDeleteCat poo in the garden- aargh - we regularly have a feral cat doing its business in our garden, the dogs eat it and then they get worms - yuk -!
Alison in Wales x
I'm OK most of the time - just have problem hearing about cancer and remembering how poorly Col was and thinking I can't go through it again.
DeleteThe dogs eating cat poo is enough to make anyone feel quite ill!
Too bad about the trellis collapse. You are clever in the garden, Sue, so you will figure out a good fix. Hope you get over your "lurgy" soon.
ReplyDeleteYou are not selfish in your grief - your feelings are your feelings and that's normal.
I am heading to the resale shops today - looking for craft kits to keep me busy. Also, plastic glasses for the kitchen. Wish me luck! :)
Hope you find just what you need.
DeleteI'm OK except for just not wanting to know about anyone with cancer
I think you'll figure out something about replacing the trellis, that would be you!
ReplyDeleteAbout grieving: yes, I think you can get grief fatigue, and it's okay. It's annoying when people whine about minor setbacks.
I couldn't tolerate any illness and death talk for ages after I was widowed, and people kept on wanting to bring up their stories. Hospice even kept nagging me to volunteer, since I'd done a good job at home! Really!
It's okay to protect yourself while time works to help.
I can definitely see why you wouldn't want to help at a Hospice.
DeleteI find it hard to hear about people with cancer
I've had similar experience with wood trellises rotting or falling over in high winds. I've replaced wood with wrought iron trellises. So far, they are holding up nicely. (I found the trellises at a garden center.) Dealing with serious illness and loss of loved ones is hard and life changing. I believe it is normal to want to distance ourselves from serious illness. Everything is still to raw. Only time lessens the sadness. Your charity shops work well for everyone. I'm currently trying to donate a 2-sink, 60 inch vanity and they want pictures before accepting the donation. New photo requirements just make things more complicated.
ReplyDeleteEven though my garden ought to be really sheltered it seems to catch the windy weather. Not sure how to replace the trellis as yet or who to find to do it
DeleteHeard from some friends yesterday for the first time since the festivities...they all had some degree of yuck bug over the holidays...such a fun time to get sick...but we all said there are people with far worst to bear. x
ReplyDeleteIt's the dear grandchildren who like to share their bugs around and then round again!
DeleteI'm afraid the only real cure for not getting cat poo in your garden is to actually own a cat, they will not use their own garden and other cats will not venture in either. Not that helpful if you don't want a cat ... sorry. :-)
ReplyDeleteGrief is different for everybody but I always feel, if you are able to, that letting people know you are still hurting is very important. Only those that have not been through such a traumatic and devastating loss will not understand.
I love cats, but wouldn't have one here because of the road and at least next door's Crumble the only one around - most people seem to have dogs.
DeleteI just find I can't hear about illness without feeling that I just can't cope with it again
You know, Sue, after my own bout with cancer, quite shockingly a friend was diagnosed with a very aggressive brain cancer. She was such a merry woman and we could talk for ever, but one of the first things she lost was speech. She loved visitors, but couldn't talk. I went to see her, and I am ashamed that I simply could not bring myself to go again. To see her rapid decline, and know that my own cancer had a 1 in 3 chance of recurrence just made me sick inside. I couldn't do it. As you said, it is a defence that we put up around ourselves. I've always been so ashamed of myself. Kathy was so glad to see me.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a list of things to be grateful for. Being grateful not grumpy is one of the mottos I try hard to live by. Even the wet and rain has its upside, though my little whippet would probably not agree!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you are sick we gathered with family yesterday since I was sick on Christmas everyone seemed healthy so we shall see. sorry about your trellis will you reinstall a new one this spring? We finally got a bit of snow, but it was so needed.
ReplyDeleteCathy
So sorry that you are not feeling too well. Hopefully you get better very soon. I noticed more and more of the people I knew through work at the school system here passing away. So sad.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well. Hoping you're over the worst of it now. The weather here has been so dreary. It really gets me down. Hope we both have some better weather soon!
ReplyDelete