My good intentions of visiting the decorated Christmas Trees displayed in Stowmarket church for todays post was a fail.
It was too blinkin' cold and I'd run out of energy after just 10 minutes in town!
Back to the settee and my books and the TV. Plenty of time for thinking...............
This will be my 5th Christmas since Colin died - it gets no easier.
There was a funeral and burial over the road in the cemetery last week - the mourners looked frozen, the vicar looked to have at least 10 layers on under his surplice. Everyone followed the hearse down the road from the church to the graveyard gate. Next time I was in the kitchen at the front of the house just an hour or so later the gravedigger was back-filling the grave . All over so quickly.
Remembering a past Christmas.......... Me and Eldest daughter both down with horrible colds just before Christmas and sitting at the dining room table making Christmas Crackers - feeling so rough I don't know how we got finished.
I used to make everything......... crackers, a wreath for the door, napkin rings, 2 or 3 deserts, you name it and Christmas was homemade. We always had Col's Mum and Dad and Brother around for the day, it was a good family day.
Listening to the radio in the early hours of a broken night about the people freezing in Ukraine and Russia continually bombing power stations and the reactions of defiance by the Ukrainian people reminded me of Aesops fable of the North Wind and the Sun. ........you know the one I mean I'm sure..........
The North Wind and the Sun had a quarrel about which of them was the stronger. While they were disputing with much heat and bluster, a Traveler passed along the road wrapped in a cloak.
“Let us agree,” said the Sun, “that he is the stronger who can strip that Traveler of his cloak.”
“Very well,” growled the North Wind, and at once sent a cold, howling blast against the Traveler.
With the first gust of wind the ends of the cloak whipped about the Traveler’s body. But he immediately wrapped it closely around him, and the harder the Wind blew, the tighter he held it to him. The North Wind tore angrily at the cloak, but all his efforts were in vain.
Then the Sun began to shine. At first his beams were gentle, and in the pleasant warmth after the bitter cold of the North Wind, the Traveler unfastened his cloak and let it hang loosely from his shoulders. The Sun’s rays grew warmer and warmer. The man took off his cap and mopped his brow. At last he became so heated that he pulled off his cloak, and, to escape the blazing sunshine, threw himself down in the welcome shade of a tree by the roadside.
And we all know the moral of that story
Here is another photo of a page from the Wartime Christmas book
No more to be said really.
Yes, it doesn't get easier. I've learned workarounds, but it's not easier. I'm glad you're sheltering warm at home.ReplyDelete
I'm feeling for you Sue. You have to work at 'work arounds' and that's hard too.ReplyDelete
I was staggered to read this morning that close to 40% of families are separated and cope with having to 'share' the children between partners at Christmas time. That must be so hard on everybody - the children who are wanting the impossible - a fairytale happy (united) Christmas, and the parent coping without the kids this year. The Jingle Bells rings hollow so often.
Keep warm, give yourself treats, and find joy where you can.
When I was a very young mom busy at Christmas, all so exciting, all handmade--cookies wreaths gifts ornaments, cards and gingerbread houses. I loved every exhausting moment. One is never prepared for the loneliness that comes after, as years go by. At least I was not.ReplyDelete
Christmas changes and evolves as we get older and older. I am glad that I still have family and friends to celebrate with yet the season always brings back memories of those who are gone.ReplyDelete
Find happiness and peace this holiday, Sue!
I have never heard that little parable. How lovely. The world IS in a terrible state, and it makes me sad that I can feel SO strongly about it, but not able to make a difference.ReplyDelete
I think Christmas is very hard when you have lost loved ones. The older I get the more I feel the loss of how things were. I too used to have a house full of people at Christmas, parents, siblings, our children then their spouses and children too. Now I feel like an afterthought during Christmas day and I miss our Son who lives in Australia and who will be 50 on Christmas day. I might get a text message from him.ReplyDelete
Your loss is still raw, Sue, so treat yourself gently. Sending warm hugs x
The pain of bereavement never goes away. Maybe the gaps between the truly awful moments get longer. But it still hurts. And sometimes that is magnified by seeing other people celebrating when we are sad - yet at other times their company helps assuage our loneliness. So we cherish good memories of the past and make new traditions for the future. And encourage and love one another wherever we can ❤️🙏❤️ReplyDelete
I am sure the loss of your husband does not get easier , more so, special times of the year which everyone expects happiness and family times. We went to a Carol Service on Friday night at the village where we both grew up, temporary home to a couple of families from Ukraine. Two touching things, one of the Ukrainians read one of the lessons in his language followed by the English version. Then, a ladies in the choir had a few tears and had to wipe her eyes during one carol, her son died three years ago from cancer, only 48. They are a lovely family, I used to work with another of their sons.ReplyDelete
Sending you best wishes Sue.
Heather from Somerset
My father died in October, just after my 12th birthday, my mother having died seven years before. I convinced myself that there would be no Christmas in our house, as my brother and sister aged 19 and 16 provided the only income. It was just us three. The strain over my father's illness had been terrible, and we just stumbled on as best we could.ReplyDelete
But there were presents! Small and modest, but wrapped and under a tree. My two siblings created a day of fun and games for me. That Christmas Day was a turning point in the atmosphere in our house and in our lives.
I have always been grateful to my siblings for keeping our home together.
The ties that bind are strong and thank goodness for that. xxDelete
Five years since my dear farmer died too Sue and I agree it does not get any easier. I miss him every day. xReplyDelete
Christmas is a time when our losses seem magnified and more poignant. I hope you will be surrounded by family this year to make you happy.ReplyDelete
Gosh, I can remember the days when everything was hand made too, though we never bothered with crackers, tbh!! All the Christmas food is still hand-made though, and I have just finished sewing a pretty x-stitch tree decoration for Danny's girlfriend, to go in a little basket of comestibles.
I agree that it does not get easier to endure special holidays without our loved ones. It helps to have children in the family to force one to be upbeat. Sending good thoughts your way!ReplyDelete
I like knowing the temperature and you can always Google it if you are curious. My house is very chilly. I read recently that offices are required to be 68 degrees (20 celsius) and I laughed because (a) the office is always either colder or hotter than that and (b) home is usually set at about 17 unless I have guests.
There is so much sadness in this poor world of ours at the moment, it is getting harder and harder to find the joy in things.ReplyDelete
I am so sorry this time of year brings you such sadness. Truly if it wasn't for my daughter, I think my husband and I would just no longer celebrate it.ReplyDelete
I hate that I feel that way I use to love Christmas and all the crazy busy times.
There is much hardship today. As individuals, we can help others when possible, but it seems never enough. This seems to be the state of things. That said, enjoying our homes and family is more important than ever before. I will toast my lost loves, warmly embrace family and friends and "hope" for a better tomorrow. Somebody said, "life is hard..." isn't that an understatement! Let's stay warm and think Spring and better times.ReplyDelete
I miss my Mother and Father, grandparents and a brother in law...there's always someone missing and it can be so very hard. xxReplyDelete
Hope it's not too cliched but I feel it's so true that we don't get over losing someone - we just get used to it. My mum died last April and I realise that at the moment I'm coping by not allowing myself to think about her all the time. Very sad. Thinking of all folk writing and reading these blogs who have very mixed feelings about Christmas.ReplyDelete
Alison in Wales x
Take care Sue.ReplyDelete
It really does not get easier, I still miss my husbands parents, my parents and our daughter. Thinking of you.ReplyDelete
The good family days are far more in our past than our present! It is but a few days to Christmas, and I have no invitations from any child or sibling, though all live within twenty minutes of me. Ah, well...ReplyDelete