Before writing about my Mum I must say thank you to lots more comments on the K for Kenton blog post that I found a day late. Many people are sad to see so many blog writers dropping out and in 10 years of blogging I've never seen this happening before.
Also hello and welcome to another person who has clicked the follower button - creeping towards 800!
She was born in 1926 the second oldest of 6 children. Her father worked in a factory that gave him a lung disease, he smoked untipped cigarettes and he was often ill. He died young. Her mother was tired and old from looking after a family on limited money. When Grandma got her pension she said it was more money than she'd ever had before. Mum's youngest brother died from Leukaemia when he was just 4 years old.
Mum's older sister passed the eleven plus and so did mum and her younger sister. The family struggled to afford the uniforms for Grammar School. Mum said she felt guilty that her mother had gone without things so the girls had correct uniform. She left school and went to work in the lab at ICI in Stowmarket as a paint tester.
Mum became a widow when she was pregnant with me at age just 28. Although she married my real dads older brother after 3 years on her own with me, I'm not sure she was ever happy.
She was never a 'best friend' as I hear other people saying about their mothers and I was definitely not a good daughter.
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| Mum in younger, happier times |
Thank you for this sharing this personal post. "I'm not sure she was ever happy" are very poignant words, and your Mum had a hard life indeed. It is not a bad thing to remember, sometimes, how tough life was in those days for many people. And thank you for keeping up the good work with the blog !
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I’m enjoying this new version of your annual A-Z post Sue . . .some have been more in depth than others but all giving us more understanding of who you are, what’s important to you and how you live your life.
ReplyDeleteThe last sentence of today’s entry could be true for many of us . . me especially.
Thank you, Sue, for opening up and reminding us that most, if not every, family has its own difficulties and tensions.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we forget how hard life used to be for many people. It's easy to complain but life today bears no comparison for most of us and I am very thankful for that. xx
I think lots of our mum's struggled to bring us up, lack of money and my dad being 'the man of the house' only ever did the veg garden, life was never easy. I escaped at 18, moved away from the village, but I did grow closer to my mum.
ReplyDeleteCathy and Poppypatchwork said what I would say. Mum and I did get closer towards the end though. Thanks for sharing and thanks for your comment on my blog today. x
ReplyDeleteSo many people had hard lives but put up with the hardship because they had no choice. A life of constant pain in an age when there were few remedies just added to the misery.
ReplyDeleteA very honest account, and , compared to today how hard life was for families back then. I too was a trial to my mum at times, fortunately for me towards the end of mum's life we were close.
ReplyDeleteAlison in Wales x
If my mother liked you, you could do no wrong. If she didn't you could do no right. It is hard to make a relationship work with that mindset.
ReplyDeleteYour Mum sure had a lot of sad events in her life. When I was young, I felt my Mom was very critical of me but we grew close when I was older.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing about your mom, Sue. Her life had a lot of challenges. And that's a young departure. It's a most poignant post.
ReplyDeleteI lost my Mum in 1999 too although she was 83 born 1916. She was widowed at 34 when my Dad died of Leukaemia a year after my grandfather, her father, died of miner's lung. Your story resonated with me - thank you for sharing it:)
ReplyDeleteThat is a great photo of your Mum and she looks happy and very pretty. She experienced some significant hardships. I lost my Mum at age 50. She could be very critical and was stressed by motherhood. She preferred her women's club and friends. When I succeeded in the computer industry and made a life of my own, our relationship got better.
ReplyDeleteI had to leave home at 18 too and never returned. My mum was very driven and a high-achiever but once she retired (in 1988 aged 58 having started her nurse training in 1948 and worked or studied continuously apart from seven years at home when she had three children) she relaxed and we had a much better relationship. I say she retired but she almost immediately got a job in a wool/craft shop and continued teaching and became a professional embroiderer. Whenever I think about all the things my mum did it blows my mind. I wrote her obituary for the Guardian and that was very cathartic for me. I hope you found writing this post cathartic too Sue. My dad was born in 1926 - a stellar year - the Queen, David Attenborough, Fidel Castro … Sarah in Sussex
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this post about your Mom.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
That was a very moving blog, Sue. How hard life was for so many back then. There was very little financial support for people, and medical care/science was rudimentary. Your mother must have lived in considerable pain for years - that does 'warp' a person. I was flung into a boarding school at 8, as my mother tried to resurrect a marriage to an alcoholic (who I'd never known until then) and so I was pretty remote from both parents after that. Now I've got to the grey hair stage, I realise that so many of us make our lives inspire of our family circumstances, rather than because of them, don't we. And do a damn good job of it too!
ReplyDeleteWhat a difficult life your mum had - so much physical pain to endure. I have to say that I was not a good daughter either - mum was very deaf and wouldn't admit it or have a hearing aid until I marched her down to the Dr's after dad had died and insisted she was tested. Only when I had to care for her after she had had a big stroke, and she then later lost speech too, did we become closer. I am famous for once having pushed her head first into a sack of potatoes when we were having a row!! As I said - we didn't get on!!!
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. I think Mum's - especially those from a certain generation - weren't taught to show their feelings or be dependent on others and sometimes that showed in their relationships with others.
ReplyDeleteAs I grew to be an adult I got to have a lovely relationship with my Mum. She was of an older generation, and she certainly had her moments - really stubborn lady too! - but I think she learned later in life to say the words "I love You'. I miss her every day. It's only been two years since she passed and I think of things I want to tell her all the time, even have a conversation or two with her!
Perhaps having lost your father at such a pivotal point in her life she simply did not have the energy to be a friend. Although I don't think that was the primary goal for her generation - my grandmother (born 1915) seemed to think improving us by constant criticism was why she'd been put on this earth, although when she wasn't giving us a hard time she was fun.
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