Tuesday, 12 June 2018

Lots of Tears............


.......................but we got through.

Yes, it was  Colin's funeral yesterday .

He knew what he wanted and, when we heard there was no more treatment available, he  had written things down so I knew too, although having been married for 38 years I had a pretty good idea of his wishes.
So it was  a cremation with the service led by the lovely hospital chaplain and words spoken that Colin had written and a few words from his friend and ex-boss at the County Council. A hymn chosen by him "There is a Green Hill Far Away" and one chosen by me "Lord of all Hopefulness" and the reading from Ecclesiastes 3 versus 1 - 8.

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
   a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot, 
     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance, 
     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 
     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away, 
     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak, 
     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

A short simple service and just white flowers from immediate family on a cardboard coffin with  pictures of bluebell woods around the sides.

We left the crematorium chapel to one of his favourite bits of music..............The Sound of Silence by Disturbed






There were crowds of people at the funeral, his ex work colleagues from early days at the council as well as more recently, friends from where we lived at the smallholding, and from where we lived before that, even old friends from his school days, plus friends of our children as well as all the family.

Now to find a new normal

Sue

75 comments:

  1. And many more of us were with you in spirit. Lovely hymns, so positive and so Colin! Now all the formalities are done you take care and keep doing what you do and I will keep you in my thoughts.

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  2. A beautiful choice of hymns and reading. Stay positive as you begin a new stage in your life.

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  3. Sounds like a beautiful service. That version of Sound of Silence is one of my most favourite songs ever. I love the idea of the cardboard coffin covered with bluebell pictures. Must have been so nice to have so many people there, a mark of how much Colin was loved.

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  4. no, words, just sending you a virtual hug and a xx

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  5. Thinking of you and your family Sue. Xx

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  6. A new normal is a lovely description Sue. Always a sad time but another page turned in your book of new normal. Thinking of you all.

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  7. And you will find that new normal and bring with you all the happy memories. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  8. Sending you loving thoughts and ((Hugs for you all))

    Take care
    Cathy

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  9. Writing this post must have been very difficult for you Sue. The funeral sounds like it was a tribute and fitting goodbye for Colin. His wishes, with his loving family and friends, you did him proud.

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  10. Hadn’t heard of Disturbed...a different rendition to the more familiar S&G.

    “To find a new normal” such a wonderful way to put it.

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  11. What wonderful memories you will take with you in your new normal..sending love and best wishes to you and your Family,xxx

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  12. It sounds such a beautiful service , Hope you find your normal sue xxx

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  13. The same reading I chose for my mother, Sue. My thoughts were with you yesterday, and hopefully the outpouring of love and respect shown for Col yesterday will bring you some comfort as your new normal begins. Xx

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  14. Keeping you in my thoughts Sue as you move forward into your new normal.
    Hugs-x-

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  15. Good choice of words and music. You did Col proud. Lots of love x

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  16. It sounds as though it went as well as any funeral and send off ever can and we cannot ask for more than that can we. Hugs xx

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  17. Colin will always me with you.
    Lovely service
    Hugs with your family.
    Hazel c uk

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  18. A beautiful service. Wishing you all the best in your new chapter.

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  19. A tough day I'm sure but yes you all got through it and you will continue to breath in and breath out & put one foot in front of the other going forward. You will find your new normal whatever that may be but what ever that is Colin will be right by your side guiding you all the way.

    Mitzi

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  20. It was my birthday yesterday and 21 years since my father's funeral. Now I will remember your Colin as well as my Dad each year. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts xxxxxx Karen.

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  21. Sending my love to you and your family Sue xx

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  22. What a lovely choice of words and hymns. The Disturbed's version of Sound of Silence took time to grow on me when it first came out, but once you appreciate the change it's very good and a great choice of Col's.

    Thinking of you as you move forward into your new normal .. a very good description. ❤

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  23. My thoughts and best wishes with you all x

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  24. I wish you well in finding your new normal. Sending you good wishes. Bev

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  25. My thoughts are with you - the idea of a cardboard coffin with bluebell scenes around it and simple white flowers sounds totally right.

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  26. A difficult day to get through. Best wishes to you and your family.

    Joan (Devon)

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  27. Thinking of you. Adjusting to a new normal, indeed. There is no correct timeline. Take care and best wishes to your entire family. -Jenn

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  28. Thinking of you and your children Sue as you all adjust to your new normal. There's no right or wrong way, just your way. Take care xx

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  29. That was beautiful choice of scripture and song. May your days ahead be comforted by the love shown to you by all those people who came to honor Col.

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  30. I'm glad that you've walked through that door and into the field of “ new normal”.
    You will always have Colin with you; his love, his thoughts his saying and all the things he did that amused you or infuriated you. 38 years of memories and experiences stored up for times when you need them.
    I'm sure from all I’ve gleaned through reading your blog that you have immense courage and that your children, grandchildren and friends will be there to make sure that you are kept busy!
    With great respect for how you and Colin coped with this sad part of your lives, Sue.

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  31. Thank you for sharing the service with all of us who are reading and caring along with your real family. There is a Green Hill has always been a favourite of mine. With caring thoughts to you and your family. Jean/Winnipeg

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  32. If ever a funeral could be described as perfect, that was it. A lovely way to honour Colin.
    Your new normal will come Sue, slowly it will all just slot into place, for you and your family, and life will be good again, just a different type of good.
    Disturbed's version of the Sound of Silence is a favourite of my husband's too, David Draiman has a fabulous voice!

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  33. Peace be with you and with all who loved Colin.

    Hugs!

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  34. Colin will be in your heart forever. I’m thinking of you.

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  35. I am so pleased you got through it so well Sue. It sounds the most beautiful service - and as you say, just what he wanted.
    Now is the time to let the tears flow, let the memories strengthen your resolve to do him proud and, as you say, 'find a new normal'. Not an easy task as I well know -- but it will come, slowly but surely - and he will live on forever in your memory and that of the children.

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  36. We sang Lord of all hopefulness at church last Sunday. Lovely hymn! I'm glad so many people were able to come to Colin's service. Thinking of you.

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  37. Hugs xx and my favourite version of The Sound of Silence too.

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  38. Just to say thinking of you.
    Margaret P

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  39. Sounds like a lovely service, so good you knew what his wishes were. My best wishes on your new normal.

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  40. He chose well and I hope you take some comfort in seeing just how many people wanted to be there - for him and for his family. Please take care.

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  41. It will time to adjust to your new normal. Be kind to yourself.

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  42. Sounds like a lovely service. The words from Ecclesiastes are beautiful. Look after yourself and take your time. Thinking of you.

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  43. I love decorated cardboard coffins - they look lovely and can de done to reflect the person.

    Your new normal will come, slowly but surely. Just make sure that you take time to breathe, to think and to grieve. And time to take care of you x

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  44. The service sounds so lovely and full of love of many who appreciated him over the years. I know it will take time but you will remake your life and find peace. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

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  45. My virtual arms are wrapping around you now for a virtual hug.
    xx

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  46. The service sounds a lovely reflection of a life well lived. You all did him proud. Now to take all your precious memories forward into a different kind of life. Peace and love to you all.

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  47. Sending hugs to a lovely brave lady xxxx

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  48. It sounds as though it was perfect and as Colin wanted it to be xx

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  49. We will miss Colin here on the blog. How we wished him well. It was not to be, and he will be sorely missed. Thank goodness summer is here, and you can get outside and stay busy. Please know that we all care for you, we enjoy your blog, and wish you happiness,

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  50. I will continue to hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers as you all journey to your new normals.

    God bless.

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  51. Sounds like you all, Col included, did a lovely job of it.

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  52. Remember Sue...you'll never walk alone...wonderful memories...a wonderful family...and many bloggy 'friends' Take care xx

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  53. Thoughts are with you, the funeral was as Col wished, do take care. xxx

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  54. Dear Sue

    I have read your blog for a long time, but never commented.

    I echo the comments from all your 'friends' who read about you, Colin, your family and your gentle life in the country.

    Sending you gentle hugs - keeping you in my thoughts.

    Best wishes

    Carol

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  55. Well done to you all, such sad events. Hope your new normal involves lots of gardening, blogging, car booting, grandchildren cuddling, baking, sports watching, reading and you never know, you might find time for a hobby!

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  56. Well done a terrible day but you are through the other side now.

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  57. I am standing upon the seashore.
    A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.
    She is an object of beauty and strength.
    I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud
    Just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
    Then someone says, “There, she is gone!”
    “Gone where?”
    Gone from my sight. That is all.
    She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
    And she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
    Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
    And just at the moment when someone at my side says, “There, she is gone!”
    There are other eyes watching her coming,
    And other voices ready to take up the glad shout,
    “Here she comes!”
    And that is dying.

    Henry Van Dyke

    Sending warm hugs of condolence for all of you!

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  58. I had never heard this version of the The Sound of Silence; it is AWESOME and what an amazing tribute song to your Col. God bless you and yours.
    Dawn P. Albany GA USA

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  59. Thinking of you and sending you my sincere condolence. Peace to you and your family.

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  60. Thinking of you all, best wishes

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  61. Dear Sue, wonderful words of Col's reading and the music x I am still crying ; I admire your strength, love and hugs to you xx

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  62. It sounds a beautiful service Sue and the reading is lovely. xx

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  63. The service sounds as though it was lovely. I love that song Col chose. That version is so haunting. Sending hugs your way.

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  64. It sounds like it was a wonderful service and deeply meaningful to you and your family. My deepest sympathies and best wishes to you as you move on and find your new normal (and you will find it).

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