Friday 29 June 2018

In Memory

This is what Eldest daughter did between Colin passing away and the funeral.

She took all the photo albums and a big box of photos and scanned some into her computer, printed out  and arranged them on free standing boards to display after the funeral.





A wonderful tribute, but I'm not quite sure what to do with them now, I have all the original photos but they look so good displayed, just a bit big to keep easily.

Something else I have done is to get a Memory Box for photos and the cards people sent and other bits and pieces for the Grandchildren to look at in the future. This was suggested to me by husband of friend who was a Cruse bereavement counselor. It will keep everything together.

We had immediate family flowers only so there were 4 wreaths on Col's coffin. One was later put on his Mum's grave, one on his Nanna and Grandad's grave and I took one to my real dad's grave in the old part of Stowmarket cemetery.
My Dad was killed in a road accident just a few months before I was born. His grave is neglected and so is that area of the cemetery. The flowers were already looking very sad, and I pulled out some dead ones. I don't think there are many people left who would remember my dad. I ought to look after the grave now I'm back in the area.

The final wreath of roses is still here........... fading away.

Back Tomorrow
Sue

38 comments:

  1. What a lovely gesture on the part of your eldest daughter to make up those photographic memory boards, keep them for awhile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My kids and niece did this for my mom's funeral. We put it in the narthex where we held a small reception after the service. Now I have boxes of snapshots and albums she made when they took a trip.
      My brother doesn't want them, what do I do? I guess store them until I have the energy to sort through again.

      Delete
  2. \lovely idea of Eldest Daughter. As to what to do with things - I would suggest nothing for the time being. I felt so different after a year and was pleased I had done nothing with things. I did take David's clothes to the charity shops - I kept his various caps - I have one hanging behind our bedroom door and I touch it often. I like to think it has his smell still but perhaps I imagine it. David had, of course, no family, so that makes a difference. You sound to be doing well Sue - he would be proud of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mother kept my father's cap hanging on its peg behind the door for over 40 years.

      Delete
  3. I totally agree with Thelma. When a friend of ours had a similar collage, someone took it to a print shop for her and had it made into a poster. At least take a really good photo of each collage in high resolution and store it on the computer, before you dismantle them.

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a lovely tribute to Col. All those memories - bittersweet but a a record of the most wonderful and fulfilling life. Difficult to know what to do with them now though, as you said, as you have all the originals.

    What a lovely idea with the wreaths. I am a long way from my dad's grave, which is a shame. We sprinkled my Mum's ashes on the New Forest - at an area we went to on many summer Sundays.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Two really lovely ideas there - we did something similar after my mum died, and I always recommend it to others; it prompted so many recollections at the 'wake', and some of it came as a surprise to people who'd only known her as an elderly lady. We even had her school report on there! However - it has served its purpose, you have the original photos (or daughter has the scans) ... lovely as it is, are you going to want to look at it again? It might be of interest to future family historians.

    Re the flowers, it always seems such a waste to me to see them left outside a crematorium (and at our local one, the squirrels soon lay waste to them!). How touching to remember other family members with them. Have I read that correctly - your dad was only 23 when he died? Your poor mum, what a tragedy that must have been to everyone at the time, and yet you've gone on to live a happy and fulfilling life. And he is not forgotten.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think he was 28 when the accident happened. My mum was 4 months pregnant and had 3 years on her own with me in a house that had no flushing loo and no bathroom!and was in the middle of being refurbished. She stayed with friends and relatives a lot I think and then she married my real dad's elder brother.

      Delete
  6. I did something similar for my parents funeral I kept them till my younger brother emigrated to Australia and he took the boards with him. I have the originals and photos of the collages. Give yourself time to decide.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Don't rush to decide what to do with the collage, and maybe ask your eldest what she thinks should happen to it now. Having it all made into one poster sounds like a good idea.
    My dad died when my son was just 17 months old, and we only have one photograph that they're both on. Dad had suffered a series of strokes and didn't like being photographed, so the only one we have is when dad was looking out of the window at my son running in the garden. I wish I had more pictures of them together, as you have, but didn't think about it at the time.
    After mum died and I was sorting out her house, I found, hidden away at the back of a wardrobe, an old jewellery box containing dad's watch, driving licence, works pass, specs and a still wrapped cigar. When I saw that, I sat on the bed and sobbed my heart out, but now everything but the cigar is in my desk, the cigar is in a vase which dad bought for mum.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Such a good and warm idea of your daughter! Leave them for a while I would suggest. Time will learn what to do with it.

    When the man I lived with suddenly died I kept all cards, letters, offical papers etc. and put them in a box. When I got married again 4 years later I decided to get rid of a lot of the stuff. Like my husband did with the stuff of his deceased wife. What was left is now kept in a shoe box, but I am sure that our children will throw it in the bin when we have died.

    A disadvantage of having a grave is that it has to be looked after from time to time. Too many are neglected, unfortunately, but very often for obvious reasons.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lovely to see such a celebration of Colin's and your life on the photo boards. I have had a memory box for years, I love mine, it's a warm happy place to go in a quiet moment.

    ReplyDelete
  10. What a fabulous idea to have the photos on display at the funeral. Shows a life well-lived and a man well-loved. You could put the photos into a large scrapbook. Be good for the grandchildren to look at.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is exactly what we did with photos of my mum so that her great grandchildren could grow up knowing her. They were all too young when she died but they've grown up with the photo books and 'know' her as an important part of their lives.

      Delete
  11. SUch a beautiful and loving thing to do and I am sure it was christened in tears and laughter as it all came together. A wonderful way to commemorate and celebrate a good life. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lovely photos, such cherished memories xx

    ReplyDelete
  13. What a lovely thing to do and it makes for a good conversation piece after a funeral, as it gets friends that maybe don't know each other chatting about the person they all loved.

    I did the same thing for my Dad, but for his 75th surprise birthday party and it was just one large board. He liked it that much he bought a piece of perspex and covered it. Mum still has it as obviously it charts their lives together... but it takes up a lot of wall space.

    I would do as others have suggested, make sure you have a really clear photo of each collage and then either have a poster made of each one or store them in an artists folder, kept flat they wouldn't take up much room at the back of a wardrobe.

    Lovely idea with the flowers, I love to see flowers on very old graves. ❤

    ReplyDelete
  14. We had something similar at Bill's funeral. I still have all the originals, but I think one of the children took the arrangement home.
    On the top of the wardrobe I have a couple of box files labelled "Biil" - one has miscellaneous mementoes, the other is some of his art (his larger pictures are in a big portfolio behind the sideboard.
    I rarely look at any of it these days (six and a half years on), but know I will periodically have a look at it all.
    It does get easier - not easy, but easIER.
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  15. What a tribute to a much loved and respected man. We went to a funeral on 10th May for a lady of 90 and her grandsons had made a video collage which was shown in the church as part of her eulogy. Do what you feel is right, Sue, when the time is right.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Your post brought a tear to my eye - the tribute is a lovely compilation of Colins life and nice to display for a while perhaps you could display one and then switch them about.
    We made my mum a photo book at Christmas of her life - she cried - we did one for my late MIL too when she started with Dementia and surprisingly she could remember people she was at school with. We used Blurb Books but there are plenty others - you just scan the pictures in and drop them into a selected layout format, choose the type and size of book and order. Whilst you are compiling a book they very often send you a discount code too.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I made collages for both my parents memorial services. Afterward since the photos were in chronological order of sorts I created an album for each of them. They would have celebrated their 100th birthdays this fall and winter. When the family gets together in August I'll bring those albums along for viewing again.

    ReplyDelete
  18. What a lovely thing to do Sue. The photo boards are fantastic but I'm not quite sure where you could store them, the memory box sounds like a fantastic idea.

    Mitzi

    ReplyDelete
  19. Well done, to your daughter! Obviously it is for you to do whatever you are comfortable with. As they are only copies of the originals, I think I would be tempted to put them all into a special album, or journal, as a complete collection. No doubt there are lots of family stories within them, Colin's story which your grandchildren could absorb through the years as look at them together.
    He had lovely curly hair - is this where Florence gets her curls from?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it must be, both daughters had wavy hair when they were smaller but not proper curls like Florence

      Delete
  20. what a lovely thing your daughter did there.

    Also lovely is sharing the funeral flowers. And call me strange, but I think there is something quite beautiful about fading roses. x

    ReplyDelete
  21. What a nice tribute from your daughter. For something longer lasting, how about using those photos to create a photo book...I mean the new age, digital kind? Even photos of photos turn out just fine for a photo book created digitally. Keep the photo books on coffee or end tables, where they are easy to remember to pick up occasionally and view/remember anew. :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. I think that was such a nice thing to do with the extra wreaths. They will cheer any one walking by.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love what your daughter did with the photos. How wonderful for everyone and a fitting way to honor Col. I would definitely get good photos of each board now and I would keep the boards for a while as I think time will tell what is best to do with them. One of the kids or grand kids may want them someday. Have a good weekend Sue.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thanks so much for sharing your personal photos...I loved the photo of him wearing the wedding hat!
    Arilx

    ReplyDelete
  25. Lovely display. Shows a life well lived and a man well loved. Take your time as there is no hurry to decide on what to do with them. Sending you a hug today.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Nice displays your daughter made. Good for you to share them with us. Good memories for you. Just finished a session at a convention about financial planning...trusts to help when we die. Good idea as we don't have a trust set up yet! Hugs and blessings Sue!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Your photos are so beautiful and happy Sue x

    ReplyDelete
  28. Those boards are a lovely tribute. Really lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Sweet tribute from a loving daughter.

    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Your daughter did a wonderful job putting together those collages of her dad's life. I wonder if my kids will do something like that for me and my husband. We did a video of the photos of my mother's and my husband's mother's lives. It was a very time intensive project but we put music to them and they turned out so nice. Nice of you to share the wreathes with other family members who've crossed over to the other side. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Aww Sue x look at your wonderful Wedding photo. You are both beautiful on there xx

    ReplyDelete