Wednesday, 22 August 2018

Ideas For Autumn and Winter

The days rush by so quickly so it's never to soon to make a list for filling the days of autumn and  especially winter when I'm always at my lowest ebb anyway, so add in alone-ness and I need a plan.

Here's what I've thought of so far..................
  • Clear the garden 
  • Clear the greenhouse and wash down
  • Wash all the used pots 
  • Clear the patio pots of summer stuff and then
  • Plant up some pots for winter colour
  • Keep swimming
  • Keep going to monthly craft group
  • Sort through Colin's clothes and send to charity shop/clothes bank (I cleared his chest of drawers several weeks ago because I need to move it but the wardrobe is still full)
  • Make a memory box for the grandchildren. A lovely idea that a friend (who was a Cruse Bereavement counselor) gave me.
  • Go through Col's books and sort.......... to Ziffit/Charity shop/ keep/donate to Mid Suffolk Light Railway Museum ( I've actually made a start on this already)
  • Go through Colin's DVDs and CDs and sort as above
  • Visit more churches in Suffolk including a
  • Day out in Bury St Edmunds and a 
  • Day out in Felixstowe
  • Make lots of birthday cards - I've stocked up on 3D Decoupage sheets ready to get started
  • Start the HUGE job of sorting out all the might-come-in-handy stuff in the workshop. I have no idea what a lot of it is anyway. Sort into crates for selling at Auction and stuff for a skip.
  • Help at a charity shop? 
  • Read (goes without saying!)
  • Visit local NT properties that are open.
  • Chop kindling and pick up twigs for fire lighting.

I just need the energy and enthusiasm...........which some days, the days when everything seems pointless,  is difficult to find.

Hello and welcome to a new follower and thank you for comments yesterday and the day before.

Has anyone else had weird page view spikes? My daily page views are usually between 2,000 and 3,000 but have suddenly shot up to nearly 4,000 on the last few days. Strange.

Back Tomorrow
Sue

78 comments:

  1. I really like that idea. Perhaps just having the list will create some enthusiasm - there's some lovely things to do amid the necessary and sad stuff. Would it help to link some of them? When I have done a, I can do b (a more fun thing)?
    xx

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    1. I'm not daunted by anything and will enjoy them all when I get round to doing them!

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  2. Another one to add to your list could be to see if anyone nearby is lonely and getting elderly.
    You may be able to drop in every so often.
    I know you are struggling sometimes, it wouldn't be natural if you weren't but elderly people are often stranded and totally alone unable to get out.
    I'm sure your grandchildren will be another diversion from time to time too.
    When I was feeling pointless after our children left home someone commented that, however old they are, we still act as foundations for our families. They know that we are there for them in a crisis or as a sounding board and being a grandparent is a very important role too.
    You still have a vital role to play.
    Sue

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    1. Visiting the elderly is not really me.

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    2. Didn't think it was me either but Age UK were really good about pairing me up and I ended up with a gin rummy playing fanatic who loved a good bottle of wine, takeaways, and horror movies! Thankfully only lived walking distance from me so I would stagger home, reeking of garlic and trying to convince myself no self respecting vampire would come near me!

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  3. You always fill me with admiration, Sue, for the way you cope and the planning you do. I can't begin to imagine how life must be following the loss of your husband (although I might have to face up to that sooner or later! Let's hope it's later). The mere thought of sorting out husband's workshop would fill me with dread - too many 8-legged things. We've had a few gigantic ones indoors already, how would I cope with them if he wasn't here? I suppose I would just have to!

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    1. I'm expecting many spiders and mice among the workshop stuff!

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  4. It's always good to have a plan. X

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  5. A really good list apart from the C.S. have heard horror stories from friends who vol. in them. I have been alone for nearly 20 years and still have down days every so often and keeping motivated is difficult but your enthusiasm is inspiring. Take care. Sarah D.

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    1. There are other places to volunteer - National Trust gardening groups, wildlife groups, primary school reading, community libraries/gardens etc etc. The advantage of these is that they add structure to a week as you commit to help on certain days & are full of a variety of interesting people.

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    2. Enough gardening here without doing more elsewhere!

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  6. Sue , have you seen these memory bears or cushions that people make from old clothes of people who have passed on ? My friend recently had some beautiful cushions made out of her DM clothes and each of the grandchildren got one to keep as a memory. They were fantastic and very nicely done. Perhaps an idea for Christmas gifts for the children and grandchildren this year ? I can find out her details if you would like ?

    Jane

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    1. Thats a nice idea but there is certainly nothing among Col's clothes worth keeping. I bought most from charity shops anyway

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  7. I love your idea of doing a plan for Autumn and Winter.Infact,Im now going to do one myself!.You said sometimes everything seems so pointless..this is another thing that my Mam says since my Dad died.But Im sure that Col is guiding you along and feeling very proud of you,xx

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    1. He probably would be pleased that I'm getting on with everything

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  8. Good ideas there! My page spikes occur when my readership from Russia spikes. Probably spam bots.

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    1. Perhaps I really have got 1,000 more readers suddenly! Theres nothing to show that it's Russia this time

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  9. A list is a really good way to make things happen, but can also feel a bit of a slog during winter gloom. Is it also possible to find a local, day time group of people who help support each other through difficult times (of any sort) whilst doing something interesting/useful eg community gardening, craft work etc.

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    1. I'm not keen on joining a bereavement type group it would make me feel worse I think.

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    2. Wasn't really thinking of those, but more a general get-together type with a purpose eg gardening or craft as a sociable lift to winter gloom rather than organised 'help' :)

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  10. Sue, you may have mostly your own company but you’re not alone. We’re all here with you! It’s a blessing we’re “virtual” as it would cost you a fortune in tea and coffee if we all kept popping in plus you’d never get anything done! x

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  11. A great plan, but a lot of this is stuff that you’ll be doing alone. Could you add in some more things that involve people? I really recommend volunteering as a way both to meet people and feel valued- and it doesn’t need to be at a CS. School governor, reading at a local school, helping the local am-dram group behind the scenes, gardening for elderly people - there are a thousand ways to volunteer. It’s something I’ve always done and it brings huge benefits to me.

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    1. After 20+ years as a Cub Scout leader and lots of years as Membership Secretary of the Suffolk Smallholders Society I've done quite a lot of volunteering. I'm not at all sure about charity shop - I'll see.

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  12. I still have quite a lot of 'pointless' days Sue - I think they are inevitable. Going out with friend/friends is my great standby - even if only just into town. But the big thing for me is when I wake up on a pointless day - get up and get going and mostly that makes it gradually wear off. Days are early yet for you. Chin up.

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    1. I'm usually OK once I get going too. Also depends how well I've slept and what the weather is like.

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  13. I love a list-it gets my thinking into order and helps you to pace yourself. I’m not following my own list at the moment as things keep popping up which need done. Today I am having a sewing day with a lovely friend so I’m looking forward to that.

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    1. My lists are the only way I can remember things - especially shopping - as long as I look at the list before unloading everything at the checkout! ( That's what happened today)

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  14. My parents joined the U3A. They have lots of different interest groups set up within it. If you like reading a book club can be good [my one is very low key and not too intellectual]
    Arilx

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    1. Several of the libraries have book clubs but I have so many books to read that I know I'll enjoy, I'm sort of putting off reading books I might not enjoy - if you follow

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  15. Good plan. You are always welcome here for a cuppa if you need a change of scenery and inane chat about fairy lights and pink stuff! ;o) x

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    1. Look for the house with the Pink Door I guess! (Your bit of Ipswich is one part I didn't learn my way round while we were there).

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  16. A good and varied list - not all chores and clearing but some time out to do interesting things and be with people. I am trying to do that now I am not working - leaving work has felt a bit of a loss even though it is through choice and obviously not on the same scale as yours but I do feel a bit in no mans land at the moment getting used to a new life and I could easily let all the must do's take over as I have a desire to get them done quickly. I think doing too much clearing all at once (and you have some bif sorting tasks there with colin's stuff) might become too overwhelming and you then experience too many pointless days.
    I keep having spikes too - not sure why! Maybe it is your tag lines - when Freda wrote about her Degenerative Maculata problem she had 10,000 hits one day.

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    1. Goodness 10,000 page views is a huge amount. I'm hoping for 4,000 now I've got nearly there!!

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  17. It is still early days Sue, I wish you nearer to me I have no friends nearby, I moved 7 months ago to a village I love it but find it hard to make friends and don't drive. It would me nice to help with a school or a National Trust or similar especial has you can drive.
    You list is a good idea also it would be maybe nice to chat to the WI Presentint to see if see could get some ideas and that members might like to do. I crochet little things and give them for our WI bazaar.

    I would be pleased to phone you once a week and have a chat.

    I think you are doing well Sue.

    Love
    Hazel c uk

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  18. Your list sounds good. You have some difficult tasks on there but normal stuff really keeps you going. Energy and enthusiasm is not always available so embrace it when it is.

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    1. Once I get started I like clearing stuff out but the size of the job is a bit daunting

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  19. I like your to-do list, maybe try starting with the things you enjoy and just nibble away at the clearing out. - There are a number of striking similarities between your situation and mine.
    I am 62 and my husband died of cancer 2 years ago, (fit as a fiddle till his diagnosis). We moved house just as he was diagnosed. He, also has a garage full of fishing gear, other hobby stuff and tools, tools, tools!!!!!! Heaven only knows what some of them are for. I am only just starting to sort, as I am soon to be moving across the other side of the country to be near my daughter and grandchildren.
    It’s strange, maybe you would agree, that sorting through my husband’s clothing was not so hard as sorting out his garage will be (he was never very interested in clothes, I used to mostly buy them for him).
    I’ve found that bereavement is a bit like the tide it engulfs you but then leads you into calmer waters. As a very good friend of mine said to me, you do get stronger to cope with it. X

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    1. Lots of things the same there as you say.
      It will be no problem sorting clothes but the junk and tools and stuff is a different matter. It won't upset me but will be a big job.
      I'm learning to do all sorts of things I've not done before and feeling strong - most days

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  20. If you have a lot of Col's old tools perhaps a charity like Tool with a Mission (https://www.twam.uk/donatetools) or Workaid (https://workaid.org/) might be interested. Just a thought...

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  21. It sounds like if you even do half of that you'll be kept busy! There will still be days when its hard to get going. Make sure you're kind to yourself and don't be too hard on yourself if you don't feel like doing anything.

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    1. I feel as if I'm chasing my tail at the moment with all the house renovations and gardening, so days off will be really good. Fire alight and a good book sounds restful

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  22. Lists are good, especially one like that where you can pick and choose what you have the energy for or what the weather suits best. 😊

    My list at the moment is in my head and is all about harvesting and squirrelling away food for Winter use. After a long dry spell the much longed for rain has brought everything on all at once. Yesterday it was mostly apples, today it's spinach, plums and assorted berries.

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    1. I've put so many tubs of tomato and aubergine sauce in the freezer I'm worried I've got no room for apples! May need to add sorting the freezer to the job list.
      Peppers and courgettes put in there today.

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  23. Having a plan of things to do in the coming months, even a loose one, seems a good idea. One I probably need to do myself. Whenever you feel at loose ends, you can pick something off of it, and if you are feeling particularly low, chose something that will get you out of the house.

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    1. I need to copy this list and pin it up somewhere as it's only on here at the moment

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  24. Is there someone who can join you for sorting through Colin's clothing and tools, etc.? I found when clearing my parents' house that it was much easier to find the positive memories among the grief when several of us were doing it together. Another tip I was given was to check all pockets and other places things could be stashed. We had to look hard to see where Mom had hidden her one valuable ring. And reward yourself with something enjoyable that gets you out of the house after a couple of hours of sorting!

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    1. All Col's clothes are clean in the wardrobe so nothing in the pockets - it won't take long to do that job. The tools and junk will take a lot longer

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  25. No obvious page spikes (but I didn't look till you mentioned it) BUT I did sign up to getting spam filtered and suddenly had dozens of unwanted spam comments to get rid of so I soon signed out of that one, and whatever happens to them, they didn't show up again. I normally get the odd one or two but this was dozens.

    I would agree with Juhli over getting someone to help you with going through Col's belongings - so you can share the happy times. After my best friend died, her husband asked me if I could go and help go through her clothes aas hejust couldn't face it. I went with a positive outlook and it wasn't as upsetting as I was expecting, and the charity shops certainly benefitted as naughty T was a bit of a devil when it came to buying clothes (though many had been once-worn nice things from charity shops or car boot sales, rather than bought from new). My gosh, we filled DOZENS of bin liners with them though.

    I would definitely advise you giving yourself some depths-of-winter treats to look forward to, and hopefully keep the winter blues at bay. A little special treat for you - perhaps a night away with a friend? A day out somewhere you've always meant to visit but never have?

    I hope your winter plan goes better than my summer one, which has only had ONE thing ticked off as done, due to the weather and money restrictions and K not being willing!!!

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    1. Col's clothes were mainly from charity shops so no problem sorting them - he wasn't fussy about clothes.
      I'm looking forward to sorting the workshop but it's a big job so may need a bit of help
      Winter treats? Maybe more chocolate? Maybe not

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    2. More chocolate? Go on, be a devil!! One big bar broken into little bits for a Little Treat now and then.

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  26. Good planning, some interesting ideas. If you like patchwork, quilting, how about making a memory quilt from Colin´s clothes, probably shirts, as well as a box. xcx

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    1. Not into patchwork as I don't like cutting things up just to sew them up again!!

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  27. I too am a list maker and while it certainly helps - it can also be a bit overwhelming at times so don't let it be something that adds to your stress or makes you feel guilty in any way if you don't accomplish something.
    I had to go through my moms things after she died as my dad couldn't do it - she died at 48 - and I felt a bit rushed and would have liked to have had more time - to reflect and remember more than anything else so if you don't feel quite ready to deal with your husbands possessions give yourself permission to procrastinate at least a wee bit. There may be a few things you'd like to keep. My stepmom took all my dad's ties when my dad died, grouped them by colours and made each of us girls a cushion out of them - mine sits on my bedroom chair and I love it. I also have dad's kilt - I asked my brother if he would like it but it's not something he would wear - so - as I don't want all that material to go to waste I am thinking of taking it apart this Winter and having it made into cushions or a throw - just something to think about.

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    1. I like a good list -the only way to remember things. I shall be very pleased to go through the workshop and sort and chuck - something I've been longing to do for nearly 40 years!!

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  28. Therapeutic list making is a good starting point. How about adding in some walks - is it a good area for an amble, or even a ramble? I have the dog with me for my walks, these days, but I walked by myself for four years and enjoyed it. Other than that, do whatever feels right for you.

    ps I ordered my first stash of books online from the library yesterday, first in line for one, 24th for another and 31st for the third one. Good job I am patient! Fun though, especially with detective stories which i will only want ot read once anyway, so thank you for that.

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    1. There are sometimes 100 people waiting for popular books in Suffolk! Thankfully usually books where they have bought several copies so they arrive eventually. Patience is a virtue was something repeated often to me - who likes things done as soon as I''ve thought of them!

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    2. forgot to say I can't do much walking all at once as it aggravates my back. Too much mud round here in the winter anyway.

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  29. Sue, I have been reading your blog for a few years. I feel I know you although we've never met. Your eldest daughter is a friend of my daughter. Sending you my best wishes.

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    1. Thank you for your comment and Oh what a mystery! shall now have to ask H to see which of her friends mums would be reading!

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    2. My daughter's name is Laura P.

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  30. I abs agree with volunteering - i did it for a year in a charity shop. It got me up and out of the house, (sometimes even having to run to get there on time!); I met a couple of folk to have a laugh with; most of all though, I found that by forcing myself to go when my mood was low stopped me from becoming too introspective - all too easy when the evenings start to close in over winter.

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    1. I'm not looking forward to the clocks changing

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  31. My autumn/winter lists normally consist of presents to make, projects to either start or finish. My children used to say they knew what season we were in by the projects I worked on. Cross stitch in the spring/summer and knitting in the autumn/winter now confused everything with taking up reading again in the last few years and learning to crochet. I have a lot of projects on the go so may be I'll list them and the books I am yet to read and see how far I get before I come back out of hibernation in the spring.

    Mitzi

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  32. Ooooh we do love a good list don't we? and yours really is a good list. Whenever David fills a shed of "this will come in useful someday and too good to throw away" stuff he builds another to fill! I can't imagine how clearing out his shed/s would be. I suppose Col did have a bit of a clear out before you moved tho' he might have started to add to it again, like a true smallholder!
    Any lass that can put on her big girl pants and rod a drain will marmalise that list.
    Chocolate, liquorice allsorts and jelly babies helps in winter.
    Gillxx

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    1. Lists are the only thing that works and then only if I remember to look at them :-)

      He brought such a lot of stuff here from the smallholding. It was stored in a horsebox and a flat trailer and even though he had a sort out through last summer when he was well, there still seems a heck of a lot of stuff!
      Who will want a box full of old electric sockets and bits of cable?

      Chocolate yes, liquorice allsorts a definite NO!

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  33. What about making some small quilts for your children out of Colin's shirts/t-shirts? Good winter project and there a lot of You Tube videos to give you ideas.

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  34. Hi sue, lots of good ideas in the other comments.
    I think helping out with the school reading would be great, teaching kids to read sets them up for a good education and a love of reading never leaves you .
    Do you knit ? Most wool is superwash hese days so it can be thrown in the washing. I am sure the little grandchildren would love some hats and jumpers with the cold Winter you have there . Ravelry is full of fabulous free patterns and hundreds of great ideas for crochet and knitting.
    I find a lot of my yarn in charity shops ,(people downsizing to retirement housing ) good idea if you don't want to throw a lot of money at some projects.....Yarn shopping for the special things is wonderful fun when you can explore a really good yarn shop.

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  35. Making a list of things you want to do is an excellent idea. You're an inspiration on bravely carrying on after such a loss. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

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  36. You have a fine list there. Perhaps a visit with family, just to get away for a few days could be added. I agree about the knitting or crocheting. Little knitted things are wonderful to give as gifts. Getting yarn from thrift stores is a wonderful idea.

    God bless.

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  37. Who will want a box full of old electric sockets and bits of cable?

    Take them, and other such goodies, to a car boot sale. You might be surprised at who wants such precious items!

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  38. That sounds quite a to do. We lost both my grandma's this year and we still need to sort out the stuff of one of them - its a tough job and fortunately does not have to be rushed.

    We have been busy here - pallets collected and sorted for firewood, hedgerows being foraged for jam & gin ingredients and the house slowly being turned into our home.

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  39. شركة تنظيف منازل بالخبر

    شركة تنظيف منازل بالخبر شركة المثالية هي افضل شركة تنظيف بالخبر يمكنكم التواصل معها للحصول علي افضل خدمات تنظيف المنازل والشقق والفلل والبيوت والمجالس والكنب والسجاد والموكيت والمفروشات بجودة عالية ومواصفات قياسية حيث تعد شركة تنظيف منازل بالخبر اولي الشركات التي التي تخصصت في مجالل التنظيف بالخبر ولديها خبرة كبيرة وعمالة ماهرة وادوات تنظيف حديثة وطاقم عمالة مدرب علي اعلي مستوى فلا تترددوا في الاتصال بشركة المثالية للتنظيف بالخبر وسوف تحصلون علي افضل الخدمات المنزلية من نظافة ومكافحة حشرات بارخص الاسعار

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  40. افضل خدمات التنظيف بالدمام تجدونها مع شركة تنظيف مسابح بالاحساء شركة المثالية للتنظيف المتفوقة والمتقدمة دائما لانجتزتها وخبرتها الكبيرة التي قدمتها لعملائها بالجودة والمواصفات القياسية بالاسعار المناسبة والجودة العالية بخصومات تصل الي 50% مع الضمان للجودة

    شركة تنظيف مسابح بالدمام

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