Friday, 31 August 2018

Why I Want to Stay Here

People keep asking me if I plan to move now I'm alone.
A lady past 60 in a big house with a big garden and a bit of meadow, up the end of a lane, miles from anywhere, surely it's not sensible ........too much work, too much responsibility, too much expense, too many things to go wrong.


But I would like to stay a while longer


Back Tomorrow
Sue

86 comments:

  1. I would too. There's space to breathe properly and it's beautiful. You know yourself best but, for me, it would be too soon to move away from all the shared memories, bitter sweet though they may be.
    xxx

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    1. I think Joy has said it beautifully. And think of the hassle of having to rename the blog!

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  2. Beautiful video! It is easy to see why you love it there. I see no reason why you should move, why you haven't lived there long. As long as you can keep up with the house, you are able to drive to go places and you are happy you should stay. I certainly would. Besides, these days your 60's is not really that old. I am 66 and I can take care of my home just fine. I loved the video and I hope you don't mind if I say you have a beautiful voice!

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    1. I hate my recorded voice so different to how I hear me!

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  3. Stay there as long as you can, the sweet silence can be very healing, it is your home and in its comfort you will come to terms with grief.

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  4. i must admit im dreading the day we have to move to town , im just not sociable except when i choose it

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    1. I have no idea where I would move to. We tried all sorts and this is my favourite

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  5. Please stay, I stayed for 10 years in a very similar situation before downsizing in my 70’s but still in a village.

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  6. I don't blame you for wanting to stay. It's beautiful. You feel happy and love it, so you should stay. I hear the traffic really loudly here, but that's what I love. I wouldn't enjoy the silence that you have.

    Also, lovely to hear you voice. When you said 'cooing'' I thought yep, Suffolk girl right there! ;o) x

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    1. Yes there is a bit of Suffolk left, I didn't know until I heard this recording - hate my recorded voice!

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  7. Some people often make the mistake of moving too soon after losing a loved one and then often regret it. To live somewhere with no traffic noise, just the sounds of nature is a real blessing. That is what we hope to find. Not soon enough for me! I understand perfectly why you would want to stay there. I would as well.

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    1. One of the annoying things about the smallholding was the increase in traffic over the years we lived there, from not much at all to always something going by

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  8. A quiet life in Suffolk. Perfect.

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    1. It is.Except for the sewer, the water, the boiler getting old etc!!

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  9. Both my parents are 87 yrs old. They still (and allways wil) live in their own house. My father works the land every day. My mother rides her bike (with her 85 yr old sister) every day. My father repairs and paints the house. My mother cooks and cleans. Ofcourse they are blessed with good health but I believe keep moving and working and "challenge yourselve" a bit is the best thing to do.
    So you do great and it looks lovely where you are.

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    1. That's amazing. I'm not sure I shall get to that great age. The joints are creaky already!

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  10. It looks a lovely place to live!.Moving house can be very stressful...thats why Ive lived when I am for 40 years!If you are having second thoughts about moving,that means that you are not ready to.I can well understand your reasons for wanting to stay...its beautiful,xx

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    1. I don't mind moving but hope to stay here a while longer

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  11. It looks lovely. So peaceful. X

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    1. I was working outside and thought wow.......so quiet........must record it

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  12. So nice to hear your beautiful voice. Thank you for showing us your peaceful place.

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    1. I don't like my recorded voice at all - it is so different to how I hear myself

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  13. Why would you move from such a lovely place if you didn’t have to? May you have many happy years there. X

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  14. It is as you say, absolutely beautiful. And your voice is lovely.

    I hope you have many good years yet in your paradise. As another commenter said, these days 60 is not old, 70 is not even old for women in particular.

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  15. Hello Sue, I'm in the same position as you, now. I live in a cottage at the end of a lane with peace, quiet, nature and beauty. My husband passed away yesterday after being I'll for a while. I'm staying here and have to renovate and redecorate, like you, although I work full time. Lovely to hear your voice on the video. Bless you. Samantha

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    1. Yesterday.....oh my goodness, thank you for sharing. I hope you get through the difficult days ahead as smoothly as possible.... It's hard work sometimes....Take care

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  16. Loved the video and your last sentence said it all “the best place I’ve ever lived”. Enjoy x

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  17. A very special place of peace and beauty. Stay and enjoy it, young 'un! What made that little film very special was your commentary and your really lovely voice, no wonder your grandchildren adore having their Grandma read to them.

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    1. I've missed seeing my girls this week - must make up for that next week

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  18. Beautiful. You should stay until you are finding things almost impossible then have another think.

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  19. I can see why you want to stay. Such a beautiful place to live, I hope you get to enjoy it for many years to come.

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  20. It’s your home Sue and it’s up to you when you move. You are gradually making a different life, and joining activities that give you pleasure. You’ll know when the time comes to move and The Weaver of Grass speaks great sense about knowing when to make the change.

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    1. It will be hopeless if I could't drive, but then so would many other places, even villages and towns don't have buses anymore

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  21. Why on earth would you move until you are good and ready Sue. It's a beautiful place.
    Hugs-x-

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  22. It looks very calm and peaceful, holding many memories, only you will know if and when a move is needed or wanted. In the mean time I would enjoy all that you can xcx

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  23. I wonder why people feel compelled to ask such a question. But if they continue to do so, give them the link to your video and once they hear your lovely voice reflecting on what what you see, perhaps they will understand that moving away is not what you want. Not what you need.

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    1. I think they know I don't want to move but worry that it's too much work

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  24. I enjoyed your video very much. Your voice is lovely and very calming. You live in such a beautiful area. I think it would be a difficult adjustment to move to a noisier, more populated area, with neighbors crowding you. In my neighborhood the homes are so close together that I can smell it if a neighbor is smoking a cigarette out on their porch and I am in my yard.

    The only benefits to near city living have been that my husband and I were always close to family, close friends, and our work places.

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    1. I do have a few neighbours in the lane - 3 other houses but no passing traffic

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  25. Too much change is seldom good. You are fortunate to live in such a beautiful and calm place.

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  26. Of course you will stay, it is your home and don't let anyone try to 'persuade' you otherwise. I seem to recall you tried living in a town once, and moved again fairly quickly :)

    It's also beautiful, peaceful and private, and with the internet and a phone, being at the end of a lane is no more isolated than living on an estate full of people rushing about with their own lives and ignoring their neighbours.

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    1. The year in town worked well for being close to hospital although a bit claustrophobic but a lot less worries with sewers and water and electrics etc!

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  27. Sometimes we can make rash decisions after a crisis in our lives. You are doing the best thing and sitting back and relaxing. You will know when the time is right to move whether it be next year or in five years time. Enjoy the beautiful home and surrounding you have.

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  28. How nice to hear your voice! If I didn't know where you lived, I'd still have spotted that for a Suffolk accent! It's lovely, can't think why you don't like the sound of your own voice but then, I don't like mine.

    I downsized after my husband died and have sometimes regretted it, although it made sense in every way. I moved to a quieter place, which suits me just fine as it does you. I think the thing is not to rush into anything.

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  29. I hope you can stay in that lovely place for as long as you feel able, Sue. I've enjoyed following your various moves, and seeing what you and Col have done in this cottage. The first time I heard my voice on a recording on someone's phone, I was shocked - like you, I didn't think I sounded anything like that.

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  30. AS usual I am near the end of comments. Loved your video and do hope you can stay as long as you want. Looks and feels like a wonderful place to be. Must be comforting to be living in the "best place" you've ever lived. I don't know that I have found that place or perhaps I will look back and say that about this house. :) Wonderful that you know it and are enjoying it in the present.

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  31. You have a lovely voice and I loved hearing you speak. I guess we all are surprised by how different we sound to others.

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  32. Such a beautiful place. It would be hard to say goodbye. You will know when the time is right to move on.

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  33. You should do whatever makes you happy! I really enjoyed hearing you talk! I'd love to see a photo of your house, too. Have a super weekend. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

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  34. I think it's too soon to make any major changes. I was in your same situation and I really couldn't think clearly for a year. Why would you leave such a beautiful place that you love? Only you know what is best for you. I find your voice soothing.

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  35. Your voice is beautiful and so is that view.

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  36. Its beautiful and I can see why you love it. It was lovely to hear your voice. People should mind their own business although they probably mean well.

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  37. Being almost 64 myself, I don’t think that 60 is old! You are in good health and do so many things on your own. So I’m happy that you plan to stay in your beautiful home as long as possible.

    You have a lovely voice.

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  38. My dear, stay as long as you like and feel able to. You have precious memories there and you need to hold on to them. You will know when (if ever) it is time to think of moving on.

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  39. Hi Sue, You do what makes you happy. Difficult to find somewhere to feel 'at home's and contented in a property. I know I have moved a lot and only a few times had the warm glow of contentment. I've always tried to make a house a home but feeling contentment and glow of peace is difficult xxx

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  40. Hi Sue

    I'm new here, but love your blog - thanks for sharing with all of us.
    I'm 56 and husband died several years ago - I take my hat off to you - keep on, keeping on!

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  41. Amazing to hear you !! If you feel happy there then it is worth everything.

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  42. I'd want to stay there too! There is nowhere more beautiful than Suffolk and it looks (and sounds) like a really peaceful place.

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  43. Don't move yet Sue. It's too soon after Col's death, and you are still healthy and managing the property, so there's no immediate need. There will come a time when a little voice tells you it's time, and by then you'll be ready. When there are health, or independence concerns, then you'll know it's time to go. I've just (7 weeks ago now) had life-saving emergency surgery (at midnight, having been perfectly fine at 2pm!) and I wouldn't be telling the tale if I'd been living in the back-blocks of nowhere. I'm nearly 66 and a ruptured bowel was completely unexpected. But I've recovered, and am working my way back to full fitness. You're fit and healthy, and enjoying life. Go on doing so!

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  44. I wouldn't want to leave that peacefulness either, Sue. If it's a home where you are happy, then why not stay as long as you can. Meg Xx

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  45. Why would you leave a home that suits you...you will know if ever it doesn't...and I wouldn't class your age as anywhere on the 'old' scale just yet!! x

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  46. I long to be in peace and quiet, you live in a very beautiful spot.

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  47. You can live wherever you want. It's your choice and no one else's. It looks like a beautiful area and it makes you happy!!

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  48. Don't want to sound like a broken record but I agree with the above comments. You'll now when it's all too much for you, emotionally and physically. You have neighbours willing to help you and family that will always be there for you so you have lots of time to decide what you want to do.

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  49. I lost my husband when he was 50. We had just renovated our dream cottage with one acre of land. It was very remote off the road.I stayed there for nearly 4 years. For me, always a country woman, I felt that those years of living alone allowed me to grieve in my own time. You have always seemed a strong resourceful woman, Sue, and I am sure you will do your grieving in your own way. I felt that those four years strengthened me and healed me. I have always enjoyed hearing about the books you have read as I have a similar taste to you. All good wishes for you and your family

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  50. Looks like a wonderfully peaceful place. I love the idea of showing us a video and hearing your voice. It gives a real feel of YOU. I can quite understand you wanting to stay there, you will know if the time is ever right to move.

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  51. What a lovely gentle and young voice you have Sue!
    I don't blame you at all for wanting to stay where you are, it would be lovely to not hear our neighbours slamming car doors, dogs barking, and the Saturday night party at the 'woofy dogs' house which went on until 5-30 on Sunday morning! I thought the ariel bomb fireworks display at 3-00 am was a rather lovely touch too!

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