I've copied it to print out.
I don't know anything about the organisation, but this seemed like a good plan whatever the month.
Contrary to what it might seem like by my blog posts, I've not been gliding through the first 2 months of bereavement without some hitches.
Someone commented that they knew people who had had car accidents after losing a loved one - lack of concentration being the problem and although I haven't crashed the car yet - Touch Wood - some other things have happened that have made me realise how not with-it I've been sometimes. Yesterday I put the water on to fill 2 water butts and meant to come in and set the cooker timer, yep, you guessed ..................didn't put timer on and only remembered the water about an hour later. Expensive.
A few times I've decided what to have for dinner and got something out of the freezer only to forget before evening and have an omelette instead and I have to write even more lists than before just to remember where and what I'm doing every day!
But the worst one was a few weeks ago when I found the gas to the oven was out in the middle of baking and after trying to re-light it with no success I went out to the cylinders and found them both empty. Somehow I had left something turned on low for a couple of days without noticing, no idea how that was possible and had lost 1½ cylinders of gas. Dangerous as well as expensive. I had to fetch the new spare cylinder from the workshop and fix it up to finish cooking and then over the next few days had to buy 2 new full ones.
Hopefully my memory will improve as the months pass.
On a different topic, I saw an interesting report on local BBC TV Look East. Ipswich hospital has just merged with Colchester Hospital and they were there talking to Chief Executive and nurses (also part of a feature on 70 years of the NHS) The Chief Executive started in hospital as a Porter......I reckon all top staff should have worked their way up like that. They also said Ipswich Hospital is one of the safest in the country. Then they were in the children's ward exactly where Youngest Daughter was with Florence last week. Weird coincidence.
And another different thing..........there is a big Fly Past over Buck Palace for HRH next week, celebrating 100 Years of the RAF and after their practice the other day the fighters all flew over here in 3 formations on their way back to their bases in Lincolnshire and Norfolk, it was very exciting, I thought we were at war and no one had told me! Luckily Pat at Weaver of Grass stopped me worrying!
Back Tomorrow
Sue
It's scary when you find yourself forgetting things, but it will pass - it's just because your brain is trying to process all the emotions about grief as well as do 'normal' things. Imagine that your computer had a programme permanently running in the background, using loads of memory. You wouldn't be surprised if it froze, suddenly shut down programmes and was slow to respond! It'll get better.
ReplyDeleteI really like that chart, I might try and adopt some of those.
My extra forgetting on top of usual forgetting is annoying!
DeleteThe Raf fly past practice is currently going on every day directly above us , we have RAF coningsby 5 miles up the road , theyve been practicing for weeks and its a tad noisy.
ReplyDeleteIm sure that cotton wool head will go with time , that is unless you have decided to go into a Victorian decline? My mother took 10 minutes my Aunt has been a year and still bursts into tears at the sight of my Uncles slippers at the bottom of the stairs where she cant bear to move them from . Grief is a funny old thing and perfectly normal
Yes they were pretty LOUD and not going at full speed either I think.
DeleteNo I'm not wearing black and having an attack of the vapours like Victorian ladies in novels! Don't want to take to my bed either, like they did at the slightest thought of being ill.
Hey Sue, love the idea that you pinched off LG and I have now pinched it off you. No hints for the memory because I've forgeotten all the good ones! X
ReplyDeleteHa!
DeleteIt is easy to get distracted when there are lots of things pre-occupying us in our heads, as it will be with you at the moment. Your mind will be working overtime. Added to that we all do it a bit anyway, forget things as we get older. I now have to write a note on a scrap of an old envelope when I am boiling eggs or beetroot and stuff it on me where I can see it, usually on my front somewhere. Too many saucepans boiled dry recently. Often I blame the laptop, I get engrossed and forget I have something boiling in the kitchen. Note stays near me where I can see it. Lovely day here again. Enjoy your day.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your day too.
DeleteI had exactly the same experience when I lost my partner five years ago. I'd put things on to cook on the gas stove and then completely forget about them resulting in lots of burnt food - I have no sense of smell so didn't realise until I happened to wander back to the kitchen and see the chaos, luckily before I'd actually managed to set fire to the kitchen! In the early days I resorted to using a kitchen timer and writing myself a note which I left by the timer to remind myself what I was supposed to be doing. It does get easier.... time really is a great healer and as you come to terms with your loss, your awareness and memory will return.
ReplyDeleteI've just hopped over to your blog and puzzling over why I've not seen it before, so I've added it to by blog reading list.
DeleteHappy retirement!
I think your are doing remarkably well considering your bereavement. It must hit you at times and to keep going is hard. I admire you and don't worry about the little hitches. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteBriony
x
Thank you Briony, I do have some horrible moments but trying to get through them
DeleteYou are doing well, really! Things will turn for the better some day, believe me.
ReplyDeletePerhaps make a little list with things-to-check before going to bed or away?
Yes I need to start making sure I've locked up everywhere before bed as there have been some break - ins locally.
DeleteThat is a really good chart Sue.
ReplyDeleteIt is strange what grief does to you. For you it is very early days yet but it will get better as time passes.
Hugs-x-
Thank you
DeleteThe Fog of Grief. When you've lost so much, it is understandable that your mind is engaged elsewhere. xo
ReplyDeleteI don't know where my mind is half the time - away in a dream I think
DeleteI would echo what everyone else has said, it really is understandable, if annoying how distracted our minds get. I think you are coping well and send you many good wishes.
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteI love the chart and downloaded it too. ( ok -I stole it as well). Memory absences are to be expected Sue-you were so brave and calm during a truly heart breaking time. The fact that you are aware of them means that you have already started to help yourself with some strategies. Wish some rain would come soon as I am not a hotweather type but it’s beginning to affect the food chain now which is more serious.
ReplyDeleteAlready a Potato shortage forecast for winter and still no sign of the wet stuff, although I'm loving the warmth and being in with the curtains half closed
DeleteDon't worry you're not losing your mind, it's busy protecting you from the big things so it can't cope with some of the smaller ones. Notes, timers and talking to myself helped me when I lost my Dad and I had so much to remember for my Mum, never mind myself trying to keep up to speed with normal day to day life.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found out the reason for the massive flypast :-)
I've got the lists, the problem is remembering to look at them!
DeleteI shall know what the planes are if they come over on their way back from flying over Her Maj. next Tuesday. Would love to see the whole 100 planes but they are forming up south west of Ipswich so doubt they will come over here
Sue, all perfectly normal my dear. You wouldn't be human if, having lost the love of your life,you carried on with life as if nothing at all had happened. You are doing so well. Take a break now and again, give yourself a day off here and there, don't forget to give in to grief now and again - and soldier on.
ReplyDeleteI'm keeping going one day at a time - you are my inspiration.
DeleteI think everyone has said it all. The only add I would make is don't sign anything official either unless you have someone with you who can read it over. We took out the most ridiculous car loan ever not long after my mother in law died. It didn't seem ridiculous to us at the time but when we came out of the fog of grief, we realised we shouldn't have done it. You're doing brilliantly and your hubby would be very proud of you - even when you leave the water on!! Take care. xx
ReplyDeleteI hope you treated yourself to some tennis today.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like the sort of thing I do anyway...I'm permanently distracted and forgetful. Without your partner now you also have no one to share the remembering with. I have been amazed at how you've been coping. Please don't be hard on yourselfx
ReplyDeleteArilx
I'd be more worried if you were telling us that you are fine and dandy...grief needs to come out...it's not a nice road to travel but it is the only way to get to the place where you can look back with a smile...be careful though...and don't be tempted to try and do too much...it is exhausting xx
ReplyDeleteThings just aren't the same, are they, and it takes time for you (and your brain) to process that and deal with all the feelings and thoughts that come. It's a lot and so some things, like oven gas and so on, just don't rate remembering. Be kind to yourself, Sue. MegXx
ReplyDeleteI think grief is like the tide, it comes and goes constantly, can be calm and small or overwhelming and frightening. We can only do our best on any given day.
ReplyDeleteI usually have my mobile nearby or in my back pocket and have to set the alarm on the clock function to remind me to turn off the sprinkler etc. or when appointments are coming up....notes only work if they are near the jug for tea making...lol
I do believe that grief is dealt with in totally divergent ways for each of us. I was very stoic for the loss of my parents, but they were in their 80's and passed for all fairly natural causes. I worry how I'll deal with losing my husband as he has spoiled me terribly and I'll have to figure out a lot of things. But who knows.. it might be me who goes first. Horrible things to have to think about. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)
ReplyDeleteI have travelled this road myself so I understand all I can say is it does get better with time. The old cliche 'time is a great healer' happens to be true!!!!
ReplyDelete