Saturday 25 August 2018

Sometimes.............

................just for a few minutes I feel as if I'm counting down the days ............until.............I don't know what. Living in limbo ..............waiting................for what? ......................Something that isn't going to happen.

Then I have to pull myself up quick and get on with the day............and the week and the rest of my life.

I'm thankful the minutes of "waiting" really are just a few.

So what did I do this week.

On Monday
 A bloke came to take out the huge old shower cubical from the corner of the bedroom. I wasn't best pleased when he said he thought he was "just capping off a shower". "No" I said - "you're removing the whole horrible thing" at which point he looked at his watch pointedly as if to say he hadn't got time. Anyway he got the thing to pieces and out but he couldn't finish the job because he hadn't got any of the bits to seal the drainage pipe properly, or to make safe the electric socket. He did say he didn't mind what work he did but actually he'd been employed to work with the Solar energy part of the company - I found myself apologizing for something that  isn't  my problem!. The guys who work for this company are all OK but the organization is dreadful.

I filled all the holes where the cubical had been fixed to the walls and gave the remaining bit of coloured wall a quick coat of paint. I thought the dull biscuit colour I was covering in the rest of the room was bad enough but behind the shower there was evidence that the walls had once been an even darker sort of cinnamon brown  - very 1970's!

New record for frogs in the mini-pond all at once = 13!

On Tuesday
 The friend who was our neighbour in 1980-84, who I visited  a few weeks ago came round for a cuppa.  We caught up more on people we knew from back then, nice to be close enough to meet up after all these years.

After moaning at the company who are doing the plumbing alteration work they sent another young lad round to finish off the work.

In the afternoon I crashed the ride on mower..........and yes, that was as bad as it sounds. Big repair needed. Heavens knows what Colin would have said!  I rang a machinery repair place not far away who advertise in the parish magazine and they came out and collected on Wednesday afternoon. The repair guy will look at it next week and tell me the cost of fixing it.Luckily I had finished all the big areas of grass, so it won't need doing for a week or so.

On Wednesday
 Shopping, putting courgettes and peppers in the freezer, cutting the rest of the grass paths and corners with the small mower,trimming all the brambles where they were sticking out from the hedge and probably other things I can't remember.

On Thursday.
Put another  coat of paint over the corner where the shower came out of.
 Both granddaughters here for a visit in the morning and for lunch.........brought by their Mums of course! I always love to see the reaction of a baby to a toddler, they are fascinated and vice versa.
In the afternoon I got the third coat of paint in the corner and second coat of paint all round the rest of the room.
So BEFORE I got going with the sander and paint roller

and  AFTER a bit of work


Better..................... but the wardrobes will hide it anyway.


On Friday
 I weeded the cut-flower bed and then went out and  did things that will feature in blog posts next week and the week after.

So apart from a few minutes, the week was good.

Thank you for comments yesterday. 

Back Monday
Sue

33 comments:

  1. Colin may have made a comment about the crash but I think he would be proud of how you are facing a very different life.
    Not everyone who is widowed would be achieving what you are and not everyone would have your determination.
    Sometimes I have similar thoughts to the ones you expressed at the start of your post. I can then waste time being aimless before finding something useful to do but....often I end up doing a task I’ve been putting off so there's a good outcome.
    It won't be long before the cousins become friends and then there'll be lots you can do with them.
    Sue

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  2. Well done on another good week. I think we're all prone to those moments when we wonder? I hope you don't mind me asking but how do you freeze your peppers?

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    1. I just slice and freeze open on trays- then into a bag. I don't blanche them although they probably ought to be. I only use them in cooked things, haven't had any bad effects yet

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  3. Sorry that you have these limbo moments, but I ama guessing they are par for the course in bereavement. It sounds like you have had a busy week and achieved lots - ahem, including the crashed lawnmower! Oh dear . . . Sounds like something I would do. Mind you, when we had one, Keith would be hurtling round the paddock lawn with it - half out of control : )

    I hope you have a lovely weekend and that the grandchildren are what help you to heal.

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  4. I was going to say what Sue (Beachcomber) said re the mower.
    Well done with the decorating - it really looks so much better and, apart from top and bottom, you can't see any change in colour in the photo.
    I'm intrigued about the Friday doings but will have to possess my soul in patience, won't I? :-)
    xx

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  5. I think you're doing really well. The grieving process is "lumpy". I found I was getting along fine for a while and then it would trip me up. As the others have said, Col would be proud of you. x

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  6. Well done Sue on achieving so many varied tasks this week. It’s a stage of grief to feel as you do but it’s good that you recognise it, and have found a way to focus on necessary tasks to help the feeling pass ( for now). How lovely to see your granchildren-always a delight. Hope the repair isn’t too expensive. Autumn is definitely showing here this morning.

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  7. For what it's worth, I think you are doing brilliantly. I echo Beachcomber, Col would be so proud of you.

    Workmen! At the end of July I noticed a water mark on the ceiling, coming from the water tank in the loft. It was a crack, the whole thing needed replacing. The chap who initially came out was not exactly what you would call helpful, or keen on making the customer feel better or worry less!! I was so glad it was a different bloke who actually did the replacing of the water tank. I think sometimes they forget they are in someone's home, to them it's just a job and they focus on their time and any negatives, forgetting completely that it is our home and important to us!!!

    Loving this change in weather we are having, this breeze is simply delicious! xx

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  8. We've got scaffolders here again at this very moment - they have had to put up the scaffold in 3 goes as they take it down from other jobs. They used a garden chair to reach (presumably came without a ladder) then left it sat in the middle of our front lawn! Workmen!
    I think Colin may have made a comment about the crash but would be very concerned for you and at the same time be so proud you are doing a wonderful job.
    It is so natural to experience the really dark days - it is part of the grieving process and I would say it is called missing your mate - I know I would feel the same if DH wasn't here. Hoping you feel brighter next week. xx

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  9. It's nice to see a job well on the way to completion,

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  10. Well done on all your achievements this week. We are cheering you on from the sidelines. Hubby would be so proud of you, mower crash or not.

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  11. Looking good. Is that lino under the carpet where the cubicle was?

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    1. A wood floor in that corner, rest of the room is the normal plywood floor and a wee bit higher, so the corner will need a bit of hardboard to bring it to the same level

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  12. The bedroom is looking good!! At least you were able to get someone to come out to you. I've been chasing a roughcaster for weeks to give me a quote, never mind actually do the job!!

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  13. I would agree with the others, you are doing brilliantly. You are in a situation not of your choosing and are finding a new normal. The little girls will be fun to be around and of course young Jacob. Lots of adventures to come.

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  14. Sue hopefully the 'might have beens' will get less and less - for Col's sake they have got to but I am sure you know that. I am still a bit raw round the edges after eighteen months but having been through it all before \i knew what to expect. That shower corner is looking good.

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  15. I hope you didn't hurt yourself in the mower accident Sue.

    What a lot you have achieved this week. As others have said Col would be so proud of you.
    Hugs-x-

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    1. I was fine but cross with myself, the poor mower came of worst

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  16. Got lots done this week! I hope you're okay after the mower accident. There are bound to be those moments, it's all so new. I'm sure Col would be pleased with what you're getting done.

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  17. I posted this on the blog about books, but in case you don't see it...I have a copy of the John Grindrod I'm happy to send to you, if you send me your address. email is mary@ingredius.com
    You and I have similar tastes in books.

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    1. Many thanks for the offer but I have it on order from the library and probably wouldn't want to keep it as I'm trying to weed out non fiction and fiction that I've read.

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  18. Brilliant job of painting. Maybe not so great with the riding mower, but hey, as long as you are okay that is all that really matters. It is the annoyance factor and cost that really bite. Doubtless Col would have had a word (or ten?) to say about the crash, but like others, I imagine he would be more than a bit proud of you for persevering during this time of your life. Looking forward to your upcoming posts.

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  19. Just reading about all you do makes me tired.

    Those moments of melancholy come to all of us from time to time. You are doing very well working through it all, and down time is part of the process.

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  20. As others have said , you are doing well Sue xx

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  21. Be careful on that mower! The shower area looks great. What a strange idea to have just a shower in a bedroom.

    You are doing great, Sue. Staying active is the key and you’re doing that. Winter may be more difficult. I still have many days of sadness nine months after losing my mother. I know it is different losing a spouse.

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  22. I think those "limbo" moments are part of the grieving process and understandable. You keep yourself so busy that I'm sure that helps. How I wish I could accomplish even half of all you do! You are amazing and could give lessons on getting things accomplished!

    I hope you did not get hurt on the mower. I'd much rather see the mower hurt than you. Excellent paint job - if not for the floor you wouldn't know the shower was there. Rest up and enjoy your books this weekend.

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  23. I'm glad your bad minutes don't last too long. Also hope you came off better than the mower. Your painting looks much better than mine!

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  24. You sure do pack a lot into your weeks, Sue! I really admire that you keep on keeping on, achieving things in your home and garden, and make time for old friends too. Glad that the mower came off second best in your crash! MegXx

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  25. The shower corner looks great. I am glad you are okay after the crash and hope the repairs are not too expensive. Many years ago as I was learning to rake hay, I almost tore the door off DHs tractor in a cleared 100 acre field. So don't feel bad about your crash, stuff happens.

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  26. Well I read your blog most days because your energy and 'get up & go' approach are quite inspiring to me - i haven't been through loss of a partner (I am single), but i have lost most family members. I know that 'what's the point' feeling - it's a nasty one that creeps up and is hard to shake off. It sounds silly but my cats and their dependance on me, are what keeps me going sometimes. Maybe think of getting a rescue pet? or even foster a pet? Just a thought.

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    1. I have a small black cat called Polly already, she was from a rescue place 4½ years ago and has been with us at the smallholding, in town and here in the country again. She is a dear little thing except at night when she insists on jumping on and off my bed

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  27. Wow, you have done a great job on the area where the shower unit was removed.

    I hope you did not injure yourself in the crash. Accidents happen and I think you are very brave to even get on a riding lawn mower.

    God bless.

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  28. I am thinking about you this week end Sue. Saturdays and Sundays are always hardest I find and Bank Holidays are even worse. But we get through them somehow. Have a good day tomorrow.
    Regarding the calendar - I voted for the winter one of the two ponies. I agree with you - some of the other photographs they showed were preferable in my opinion - but there were such a lot I suppose they just had to agree.

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