The weather has been typically up and down but still not a lot of rain here. One day I left home where it was dry, drove 23 miles across to the coast to visit youngest daughter and Florence and went through downpours and huge puddles. Got home later and it was still bone dry here.
The cat's nibbled the leaves of my cucumber plants! They were in the conservatory and I'd forgotten she's partial to cucumber leaves. They might survive, the middles are still growing.
I decided to call a halt to the charity shop volunteering through the spring and summer, mainly because I like going to car boots and adding the charity shop in meant I was driving somewhere or other almost every day. Combining charity shop with shopping meant shopping only at Asda every week and getting home late and knackered. The Home Start charity shop in Eye is moving into bigger premises soon and will need more help and as it's much nearer than Stowmarket I may well go back to helping there in the autumn and winter...........I'll see.
Bereavement is strange. Things suddenly hit me with a vengeance this week. I'd been getting by so well and then suddenly wham and I hate crying as it leaves me feeling even worse.
But if ever there was something to cheer me up and make me cry at the same time this is it. My Mothering Sunday Present from Youngest Daughter......... It says
"THIS NANNA BELONGS TO" and JACOB, FLORENCE and WILLOW. I love it and my keys are now attached. And from Son and DiL
The farmer who owns the field on the other side of the lane from our houses has now claimed that the neighbours have put the soil from their footings onto HIS land. Not sure how he can own land on this side of the ditch. The farmer is a miserable bloke, the same one who wouldn't sell land behind neighbours houses. He also moaned that neighbours had cut down HIS hedge behind their house but they know the lady who lived there previously planted the hedge. Neighbourly disputes are annoying, and disputes with farmers who own big acreages are best avoided. The trouble is that none of us who live in and use the lane actually own it, no one owns it, we just have historic use of it, and as for the ditch - who knows (and usually it doesn't matter!). While talking to M next door I did say I was sad to see the big Elder go so they know now. To make up for the loss of the tree I found The Woodland Trust do Elder saplings so have bought 4 and will plant them on MY land!
This is what's happened to all the wild stuff growing on the bank in the lane, the elder cut down, and everything covered up and leveled. There were primroses and daffodils here as well as meadowsweet, now all gone.
I don't understand this obsession with tidying everything. Oh well, at least I can keep the wild areas on my meadow.
The rest of the old pump was found too.
Signs have appeared for this years Suffolk Agricultural Show at the end of May. I had a lovely day there LAST YEAR so will be ordering my "early bird " ticket very soon.
And finally I got the tomato, pepper and aubergine plants potted on. Moved them out into the greenhouse so now I need to remember to go out and cover them with fleece on chilly nights.
This week I'm grateful for
- Being able to put right the loss of the Elder tree by buying some saplings to plant
- My family who cheer me up when I'm down
- Good books to read to take my mind off feeling sad.
- Seeds that grow into plants
Have a wonderful weekend wherever you are. The weather forecast isn't too bad for here so hope it's the same for you.
Back Monday
Sue
These are all wonderful things for which to feel gratitude! Today I was very distraught about a tax problem I had not gotten right and told my daughter that I felt the IRS would haul me off to jail. (It's not really that serious.) My eleven year old granddaughter Sofia immediately ran to hug me and tell me that she would go to jail for me if it came to that. What a sweetheart! It is so wonderful being a grandmother!
ReplyDeleteYou've done incredibly well to cope the way you have, Sue, you're a total inspiration. What absolutely lovely gifts from your children, they know you well! We live in the middle of 2 farms - one owned by our landlord, the other by a pheasant, dairy and sheep farmer, who also owns the lane our house is on. Our landlord is alright, if a bit tight-fisted at times, the other farmer is a grumpy so and so who moans about anything and has no patience - he sits in his wagon beeping the horn if he has to wait behind anyone delivering to the houses in our narrow lane.
ReplyDeleteIf the forecast doesn’t change too much, it says no frost for the next 10 days, we shall see.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard.
ReplyDeleteBut you're doing incredibly well. Lovely that you're finding some positives in there.
Nurture those elder saplings!
xxx
Some days much harder than others.
DeleteYou are doing well to get out and about but I think it is good to stop and have a good cry every so often - the emotions are still there underneath with grief and it is good for them to come out now and again.
ReplyDeleteWe are always having problems with our land in Scotland - the guy who runs the caravan site and pub never knows where his boundaries are and frequently encroaches on ours. Part of his car park is ours that we agreed he could use but we had a Solicitor send a reminder letter just in case he sells the place on and pretends he owns it. He hates wild, we love it. He strims all our verges down the lane where once grew campion and Alkanet and birds nested in the Rosa Rugosa. He has just had a bad stroke so not sure if he will get someone else to do the job now or maybe if we are lucky they will be left alone once more.
Love the gifts...so thoughtful.
Who makes up the road when the potholes appear in it? He will be the owner.
ReplyDeleteNo one does the potholes unless we do them ourselves. No one owns the lane. It's been used for these houses before cars were invented!
DeleteIt must be on someone's deeds somewhere.
DeleteI can't add to what the others have said - you have been absolutely amazing, Sue, and I guess it is bound to hit a bit more now and again. They are such lovely gifts, they would have brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeletexx
What a complete shambles, and I understand as you know from a former machete wielding neighbour's efforts on MY stone wall. I will check out the Woodland Trust site!
ReplyDeleteI am just five months into my grieving process and if there's anything I have learned it is that grief has a mind of its own. Each of us is different, and we must grieve in our own time and in our own way, and yes, it jumps up and wallops you in the face when you least expect it. Be gentle on yourself.
That is so sad the destroyed verge but at least you have said something to the neighbours. I think you are extraordinary brave to cope the way you do, and that you have a very loving and caring family to support you. xx
ReplyDeleteLovely thoughtful keepsake presents. Your children are a blessing to you.
ReplyDeleteThe weather has never bothered me that much. I'll still go out if it's raining as I believe you can only get wet once, lol. It's the temperatures I don't like ie cold or hot. Never have been a sunworshipper even when abroad and I don't normally sit out in it here, but we're all different, which is good. My husband is the one who is obsessed with the weather, he knows the time of day it is going to change.
I'd be careful about letting a neighbour 'take over' a piece of my land/garden to use as their own after my sister-in-law let her neighbour use a small area of their front garden. When my sil and her husband wanted to move they had to go through extra trauma trying to prove it was theirs even though it was on the deeds.
We really need rain for the trees and my potatoes!, we've not had any for about 3 weeks.
DeleteThe edges of a ditch should never be cleared as it will lead to the soil falling into the ditch and making it shallower. Tidying is one thing, totally changing the function of something is another, your neighbours seem not to understand country ways :-(
ReplyDeleteI love your Mother's Day gifts ...and that you are 'owned' by Jacob, Florence, and Willow :-)
So good that your family is thoughtful and caring. A true blessing. Love their gifts to you.
ReplyDeleteAh...neighbors--the little darlings--we've been fighting for more than a year to get the county to force one of our neighbors to fix their failed septic system which is draining very unpleasant effluent onto our property--a true health hazard which violates all ordinances. Evidently the county can't get them to answer the phone or the door. Not surprising since they are as unpleasant as the effluent.
Septic tank problems sounds horribly smelly. Luckily mine seems to be working better this year I haven't had to do the un-blocking thing since last summer.
DeleteYou are doing so well, Sue, but grief is a strange animal and will rear it’s head at any time. My Dad passed away Dec 2016, 14 weeks after his cancer was diagnosed. Most of the time, I’m fine, but the odd occasion something will trigger such very sad feelings. But I go with it and generally feel better after a little cry and definite effort to remember a happy memory.
ReplyDeleteIt’s was sooo wet here yesterday, but the sun is out today :)
Weather can be so weird can't it? Roz works about half a mile across the fields from our house and the other day they got snow and we didn't.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you have been sad this week. it's nearly two years since I lost my sister and I still get upset at the most unexpected times.
I just love your key ring.
Hugs-x-
Good for you to plant trees. Are your land clearing neighbours unfamiliar with country ways. I've found so many times people move from town and then want it to be like town.
ReplyDeleteThe remains of that old pump are a treasure Sue.
ReplyDeleteAs for bereavement hitting you suddenly - I agree. It is two years now for me and I feel i am doing really well and then one day I am back to square one. Chin up. We are all in this together.
Thank you Pat. Chin is up!
DeleteGrief can rear its head at odd times. You are doing really well and good to reflect on things to be glad about. I love your gifts. It makes me sad when the wild places are tidied up. Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet!
ReplyDeleteThe gifts you received are wonderful! The only thing better than being a mother is being a grandmother! Grief is indeed a strange thing. One minute you can be fine then some unexpected something turns it all around for you. It's one day and at times one minute at a time. I don't know if you realize it, but your sharing helps and supports many others in a way not everyone can understand.
ReplyDeleteThank you for saying that, makes me feel better as I worry that sharing the sorrow doesn't look like self indulgence or asking for sympathy.
DeleteI'm so sorry that you are having a difficult time. I'm sure all of us wish we could do something to help you to feel better. I'm glad you're able to replace your elder tree. I've been reading more and more about the medicinal benefits of elderberry syrup. We just bought some property that adjoins our land, and had to send a firmly worded letter to our next door neighbor who has been using the property as an extension of his back yard for a few years (even though he knew he did not own it.) Apparently there is a law here in the US that if you use property over a period of years and maintain it, you can, under some circumstances, have a legal claim to the land. It's called "adverse possession." Fortunately, when he received the letter he removed his belongings and has stopped dumping his yard debris on the property.
ReplyDeleteI think we have the same thing here, continued use of the lane over several decades by all the houses gives us the right to continue using it.
DeleteWish I could give you a hug. Things always seem to come in waves. Glad that you have family to bring you joy, of course Nana belongs to them.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Those gifts you received for Mothering Sunday were a delight, how thoughtful. Sending you a virtual hug. Such a shame about the tree but at least you feel better now that you have replaced it with 3 saplings.
ReplyDeleteWidowhood is not for sissies. Things will get better and how you can be better one day and a wreck the next is so very true. Be kind to yourself, and love that you have such a good family support system. It certainly does the soul good. My thoughts are with you!!
ReplyDeleteLove that - thank you.
DeleteYou are so right. Bereavement is strange. Just when you think you are coping ok,a bad day comes and knocks you over for a bit. But we get up and go on somehow. I’m glad you got those saplings to plant. They can thrive on your land.
ReplyDeleteSo sad to see so much loveliness 'tidied away'. My late uncle had something similar. He was helping start a wildlife garden in the churchyard which had been neglected, and 'some old lady' decided that she didn't approve of all those 'weeds' and put weedkiller down! Sending hugs x
ReplyDeleteSue, you are not on your own!! I'm at a certain point in womanhood when one day I'm on cloud nine and the next I'm refusing to come out from under the duvet. Life can be hard but what choice have we but to keep going. You inspire me. Lets laugh and cry together. Xx
ReplyDeleteAllow the emotions when they come, but remember the good - especially the grandchildren - and hopefully it will help you through the tough times. Good decision on the stopping volunteering. I always found it tough to give it up when the time was right and kept going when I wasn't finding it enjoyable any more.
ReplyDeleteGood news on the trees!
What a shame that verge has been flattened, but if it is anything like here the native plants will be back before long.
ReplyDeleteGrief - nasty little bugger, just when you think you are standing tall again it sneaks up from behind and swipes you in the back of the knees. Be glad you can cry, it is healthy and good to have such an emotional release. I have barely cried since my own loss . . . I'll pay the price eventually. xx