Saturday, 2 February 2019

Another Week

Some weeks are good, I get through without thinking too much about the great big hole in my life, other weeks are not so good, everything is hard work and the future just looks lonely and never ending. The beginning of the week just gone was like that, I don't know why because I went swimming as usual, did my stint at the charity shop as usual, read a lot, planned some blog posts, watched TV as usual, started a new jigsaw, got out for a short walk, shopped, did some housework ...... but then by Friday I was OK again so there is no rhyme nor reason to sadness hitting for a few days.

The only plan is to grit teeth and just get on with life and with car boots starting and spring somewhere around the corner perhaps all of next week will seem better.







I'll be there most weeks now, But not at 7am! walking round, searching for interesting things...... unless it rains, snows or something else happens to put me off....or until I get fed up with seeing the same old stuff!

Better think about what I'm looking out for and what's NOT needed this year.......must make a list, always a list!
 
The Six Nations Rugby, which I enjoy watching on TV and is a signal of spring arriving  has started too and  I have got through the worst month of the year all on my own. It was a test this winter to see how I would manage up the end of a lane - would I feel the need to move into a village? (or heaven help me, a town!) but No, it's OK. I don't mind coming home in the dark to an empty house - although Polly is always pleased to see me and I've kept warm, coping with lugging wood about etc etc.
 Of course there's still the chance of getting snowed in but I have food enough and plenty of split wood for the fire. Earlier this winter I bought a re-chargable lantern to go with my wind-up radio in case of electric going off and I always have a stock of candles.  Touch wood it's been OK so far this winter. I also keep some bottled water in the freezer because there have been lots of burst pipes locally.
 Think I have it all covered 😊


Many thanks for comments this week and the ones I found late which I've now replied to and hello to new followers, hope you enjoy reading.

Have a good weekend
Back Monday
Sue


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41 comments:

  1. Sooze2 February 2019 at 07:13

    You prove it can be done, Sue, and I'm so grateful that you do. I admit I do worry sometimes if or how I'd cope if husband's heart failure progressed to the end and the worst happened. We too live down a very rural lane, although we're in the middle, not at the end, there are 7 other houses here and a farm right at the end. But there's no public transport and I don't drive. My family live a long way away, but neighbours are all friendly and helpful. I guess, as you show every day, positivity is the key, we just have to get on with it as you say.

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    1. Sue in Suffolk2 February 2019 at 12:57

      I shall have to move when I can't drive, everything is miles away

      Delete
  2. mamasmercantile2 February 2019 at 08:33

    I see you have the escort service above, they have been stalking me for awhile. We miss the car boot sales, it was a good walk and I always managed to grab a bargain. Good idea to make a list, it gives you a purpose for going. Take care.

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    1. Sue in Suffolk2 February 2019 at 12:55

      I just keep deleting that comment, probably a computer somewhere

      Delete
  3. Anonymous2 February 2019 at 08:51

    I know you'll shrug it off as you always do but your blog is such an example and help to many of us, whether it's how to make sensible plans of self help or how to take a day at a time and not peep round the corner to find worries.
    As Sooze says you show positivity and share honestly.
    The sun is shining here this morning. I hope it's shining on you and that the car boot asle is a good one. Sue

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    1. Sue in Suffolk2 February 2019 at 13:00

      Too cold for visiting a car boot sale this morning. I heard that tonight will be down to minus 10 in places. and even worse in Scotland.
      I shall keep in the warm with a good book

      Delete
  4. Rachel Phillips2 February 2019 at 09:01

    That's the way it is. I came home to an empty house at 7 the other night, trains running late pissed me off before I even got home, frosty and dark, and putting the car away the loneliness of it all hit me: nobody now until morning and that's only if I go out. However, got indoors and got on with tea and forgot about it.

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    1. Sue in Suffolk2 February 2019 at 13:07

      I don't often go out to come home late but it doesn't bother me.I usually take a small torch so I can find the keyhole in pitch dark!

      Delete
    2. Rachel Phillips2 February 2019 at 14:43

      I leave lights on. The dark in itself didn't bother me but loomed like a reminder of my situation.

      Delete
  5. Sue 2 February 2019 at 09:24

    It's a case of pushing through the bad weeks, giving in to tears and sad days and coming through the shitty days to enjoy the lighter on the mind and heart good days. And you, Sue are showing us how to do it and remain mostly sane at the same time.

    Keeping yourself busy seems to work for you, and thank goodness for little Polly... we all need a little friend to talk to when we get home, whether it be human, furry, feathery or just plain imaginary 🙃

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Sue in Suffolk2 February 2019 at 13:09

      Sometimes I find I'm trying too hard to keep busy, going out every day isn't the way I've lived in the past so roll on spring and summer so I can be busy at home in the garden

      Delete
  6. hazel c UK 2 February 2019 at 11:23

    A lovely. Day in Stewkley today so it will melt the snow, but it does look nice on the garden and fields. I am hoping my Grandson and his girlfriend coming today from London but I hope they don't leave it to long before they go back home has much has I love to see them I will worry until they get home.
    I hope you had a good morning Sue at the boot sale. I brought a lovely jigsaw this week it was called Final Furrow has catkins in the trees, daffodils on the bank of the stream and the farmer had horses ploughing the field, it is lovely.
    I am like you Sue my glass is half full and I have had my troubles but life was never going to be easy.
    Have a nice day Sue,
    Hazel c uk

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    1. Sue in Suffolk2 February 2019 at 13:09

      Your jigsaw sounds very cheerful for a cold weekend

      Delete
  7. Living Alone in Your 60's2 February 2019 at 11:23

    Grief is a strange thing that can be triggered by so many situations. You are doing brilliantly and keeping busy is the best policy.

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  8. MarleneS2 February 2019 at 12:09

    It must be incredibly difficult for you, but it is good you are trying to enjoy your life and do new things. You are lucky are boot sales don't start until the end of March.

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    1. Sue in Suffolk2 February 2019 at 13:13

      Too cold to go to a car boot today, the wind is freezing, but the sun is shining

      Delete
  9. Heather2 February 2019 at 12:18

    I can relate to how you feel about January especially after my husbands death as January is my birthday month but also we actually got married on my birthday and it also a new year without him. Heather

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    1. Sue in Suffolk2 February 2019 at 13:16

      Years ago I used to get very depressed in January but it doesn't affect me so badly nowadays as I know what to do to keep well

      Delete
  10. Poppypatchwork2 February 2019 at 12:27

    I always think January is a long dull month, often being force to be inside for long periods. I am always glad to see Febuary.

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    1. Sue in Suffolk2 February 2019 at 13:18

      I'm looking forward to doing a bit of seed sowing this month

      Delete
  11. TrishWish2 February 2019 at 15:41

    Grief always make me think of one of TS Elliot's cats' poem - the one where the black cat is lurking under the stairs and no much you hold the door shut every now and then it escapes. Then I look at the snowdrops and see the daffs coming and think of the good things coming. Bless you.

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    1. Sue in Suffolk2 February 2019 at 18:23

      My lovely tulip bulbs in the cutting are pushing up and I noticed some daffs, although I don't have many here

      Delete
  12. Mary2 February 2019 at 17:04

    No road map for grief. No time frame. Just putting one foot in front of the other. And sometimes simply getting tripped up by the darkness without warning. Thinking of you and hoping the lengthening of the days brings you solace.

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    1. Sue in Suffolk2 February 2019 at 18:25

      Sometimes I forget that it's only 9 months, which isn't long at all because sometimes it feels much longer.

      Delete
  13. Jean2 February 2019 at 18:53

    Not surprising you have dark days. I hope next week is better.

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    1. Sue in Suffolk3 February 2019 at 09:08

      Already much better with a bit a sunshine this morning

      Delete
  14. Scarlet2 February 2019 at 19:37

    I admire you so much Sue, and wish that my Mum had had your resolve when my Dad died ( he was 55, she was 56). My life would have been very different if she had.

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    1. Sue in Suffolk3 February 2019 at 09:11

      Thank you, I'm just getting on with things the only way I know

      Delete
  15. Jackie3 February 2019 at 02:57

    Sue, you are coping wonderfully. While I have not lost my spouse, I have lost a child (many years ago) and still sometimes the grief overwhelms me. The loss of someone you love is something that stays with you.

    God bless.

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    1. Sue in Suffolk3 February 2019 at 09:11

      Loss of a child so that you never get to see what they would have become must be heartbreaking

      Delete
  16. Lettice3 February 2019 at 08:38

    Never lose sight of the fact you are an amazing woman Sue.

    LX

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  17. Sally3 February 2019 at 11:31

    It's a year today since my husband died. I have good days and bad days. One of the worst was new years day. I felt as though I'd stepped forward into another year and left him behind in the old one. I feel sad because he couldn't come with me and I couldn't stay with him. :(

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    1. Sue in Suffolk3 February 2019 at 19:57

      Thank you for commenting on a sad anniversary for you. I'm saddest when I think of Colin missing the grandchildren growing.

      Delete
  18. Susan3 February 2019 at 17:50

    The grief is one thing and then there are all the practicalities until I'm sure you feel quite worn down at times. Sending you warm vibes for a cold day.

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  19. Jomo3 February 2019 at 18:18

    I think you are doing brilliantly well. It's very early days Sue since you lost Colin not even a year yet. I lost my husband nine years ago and I found that I gradually adjusted and got used to my new reality. There are always sad days and that's normal just keep going I admire how you are coping x

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  20. Sue in Suffolk3 February 2019 at 20:11

    Thank you. I daren't even think so far ahead. It's all still feels unreal sometimes.

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  21. Sue4 February 2019 at 01:59

    So sorry you have to go through this Sue. It seems the grief will come at times and you have no choice but to push through it. This has been a huge change but it seems like you're trying to work towards a new rhythm in your life. I hope with each day it gets a little easier for you.

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  22. Grandmabeckyl.blogspot4 February 2019 at 02:43

    It's not easy to go thru the grief process but it's ok to grieve loss of your beloved Colin! You loved each other. You miss him. It's life right now. God is there with you. His mercies are new every morning. You're doing well and making your daily life work. I went antique shopping with my sister Sat afternoon after our bday lunch. Saw blue canning jars I wanted but $12 for an old jar a bit much. So I got two items I liked that were affordable. Have a blessed week!

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